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Friends with Benefits?

(12 Posts)
user1481732740 Tue 03-Jan-17 17:28:13

I have been friends with this guy for 3 years, we always got on but he was married and we were always just platonic friends.

2 years ago he broke up with his wife and I was a friend to him, again still very much platonic and he started to sort himself out. Last year he started dating again and I encouraged him.

A couple of weeks ago we went on a night out with each other and one thing led to another. Afterwards was awkward, obviously but we both said that we cared about each other but that it also was confusing.

Since then we have spoken to each other every 2 days or so and have seen each other once a week. He took me to a party, we saw a movie, there was a 2 week break as we both went abroad for Christmas and this week I'm going over to his house.

He said that we need to have a talk about what is going on but he isn't ready yet.

Do you think he is sees this as friends with benefits?

Jaynebxl Tue 03-Jan-17 17:33:00

Maybe he is thinking of a relationship? Sounds like more than FWB if you've been going out places together.

TheNaze73 Tue 03-Jan-17 17:40:54

I'd think he wants more than FWB

SleepingTiger Tue 03-Jan-17 17:56:10

Nothing is clear at all!
That is the only thing that is clear.

Redglitter Tue 03-Jan-17 17:58:15

Doesn't sound like he's just looking for FWB
I've got a FWB and we'd never go to the cinema or a party together

BitchQueen90 Tue 03-Jan-17 18:33:25

Doesn't sound like FWB, if it were he wouldn't be making the effort to take you out. I have a FWB and we occasionally go for meals but usually just stay in at mine with takeaway and booze.

LellyMcKelly Tue 03-Jan-17 20:58:33

He may be worrying that the pair of you have fallen into a relationship he isn't ready for yet. Do you want to be in a relationship with him?

NoMoreCricketDartsOrFootball Tue 03-Jan-17 21:49:16

The most important thing here is to decide what YOU want.

Jaynebxl Wed 04-Jan-17 08:22:17

Excellent point no more cricket

Bluntness100 Wed 04-Jan-17 08:24:54

I'd agree with cricket also, it's about how you see it. If you wish a relationship with him then under no circumstances agree to friends with benefits, you'll just regret it. Wait till he is ready to talk, and then if you want a relationship say so, and be it that or nothing.

user1481732740 Wed 04-Jan-17 09:41:07

Thanks for all your comments guys, your advise is all really helpful.

It is early days but I would like to date him to see where things go. I've been single for a while and would like to find a relationship but don't want to jump into anything if it isn't right.

I know I don't want to be FWB as I think we care about each other too much to do that and I think ultimately it would ruin the relationship we have.

I think I will continue seeing him, as I'm having a really good time, see where it goes and let him know that I don't want FWB when the time comes.

Thanks again for your advise, it is so helpful to have other people's perspectives from outside the situation.

Tenshidarkangel Wed 04-Jan-17 10:37:01

Doesn't sound like FWB but that makes it even more dangerous and the potential fallout greater. Mixed messages can make things confusing. Make sure you get a clear answer to what hes after and what you want in relation. FWB tends to mean a certain emotional distance which is tough.

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