My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I'm fat. Im fugly. I'm 40 this year.

11 replies

DonaldStott · 03/01/2017 00:16

Right. This is it for me. My relationship with alcohol is not good. I think I am a HFA. Never said it out loud but I am a HFA. This is THE year to kick it. Not fair on dh or dd. This is it. Me.admitting I have a drink problem. Admitting it to myself. Admitting it to dh. I am a binge drinker. The night before NY I drank a full bottle of Bacardi. Day after I drank a full bottle of vodka.I dunno why. Had a pretty shitty life. And I know I use drink as a crutch. But.not any more. Gonna.turn my life around

OP posts:
Report
Dowser · 03/01/2017 00:20

Good on you Donald.

Seems like a good plan and your liver will thank you for it.

Report
GruochMacAlpin · 03/01/2017 00:23

Well done you.

Go and get some support, don't struggle on your own.

Report
redcarbluecar · 03/01/2017 00:24

Small steps; try giving up for a couple of weeks or a month and see how you feel. Good for you. What's been so shit?

Report
Testificateman · 03/01/2017 00:25

Good for you. Try not to replace it with food though. I stopped drinking years ago, went to my doctors about two months later and found out that my liver count was too high.
Only years later, when talking to an ex alcoholic, that I too was an alcoholic.
Keep thinking of your DH and DD, this will help you get through this.
Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

Report
0dfod · 03/01/2017 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrustySnail · 03/01/2017 00:37

Firstly, well done for deciding to take control!

Please don't think of yourself as 'fugly' - that's a horrible expression used by people who have nothing but their (usually inflated) idea of their own looks to bolster their egos. If you've been binge drinking, it will affect your complexion and probably make you look tired, but those things are all fixable. It sounds as though your self-esteem has sunk to zero, which isn't where it should be.

I can't comment on whether you really are 'fat' - but if you need to lose weight, cutting out alcohol will make an immediate difference, not only in alcohol calories but also in the erratic eating habits that binge drinking can lead to.

You mention your DH - will he support you? Have you had any support/counselling about the bad things you have been through in your life? Support will be key to your turning this around - you need to address the issues that have led to using alcohol as a support mechanism.

Wishing you all the luck in the world Flowers

Report
DonaldStott · 03/01/2017 00:46

Omg. You are all making me cry x x

OP posts:
Report
TrustySnail · 03/01/2017 01:05

Crying is no bad thing - it can be very cathartic, and is a way of acknowledging to yourself that you have an absolute right to feel bad about things that have happened to you.

If you want to talk about what's gone wrong in your life, I'm sure you will find support and the benefit of a wealth of experience from people on this site.

Report
sobersarah · 03/01/2017 01:29

Hi there. You might want to come and say hello in the Dry 16 thread? We are very friendly and supportive :)

Report
DonaldStott · 03/01/2017 07:15

I have popped on to the dry thread, which I have lurked around for a while. Thank you for the replies. Dh will support me. We have a long chat last night where it all came out. He has known for a while I have an issue with drink and has just been waiting for me to admit it, but he also drinks (not as much as me) and has agreed he wants to cut down. I'm going to start with rest of the month dry and see where I go from there.

OP posts:
Report
hellsbellsmelons · 03/01/2017 09:33

This will be your year.
I remember turning 40 and just thinking, I'm not going to be this overweight by they time I am 41.
And I did it.
I don't have a drink problem like you do but I do do dry January.

Keep yourself busy.
A few projects around the house will help.
Clean out cupboards, fridge, freezer.
Meal plan for the week.
Prep stuff for the next day the night before.
Bulk cook some meals to freeze.
I know I get loads more done doing dry January.

Look at your finances.
Find out how much money you will save by not drinking.
Get in touch with AA. Go to a local meeting.
It might not be your thing but it might be exactly what you need.

Join a local slimming club. Weight Watchers or Slimming World. I prefer WW but it is what will suit best. Also gets you out of the house and meeting other people.

Join your local gym or start the C25K (couch to 5K) to get out of the house and exercising.

It's gonna be really tough but you can do this!!!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.