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Christmas has broken my family

9 replies

SexNamesRFab · 02/01/2017 00:07

I'm the poster whose mum and sister had a fight on Christmas Eve (grown women spitting, head butting, trying to push each other down the stairs etc). Today I was meant to be hosting a meal for my extended family. I cancelled, telling my mum and sister directly after the fight I was too disgusted and ashamed of them to host. I haven't heard from either of them since. I feel so sad. I didn't want to call as I couldn't face getting wrapped up in their drama.

My sister has a young family so is probably just getting on with it. She did apologise at the time, but I know from experience her anger will make her feel justified. My dad told me my mum was in a right state, but she hasn't called and I can't help thinking she's probably livid with me for cancelling the family event (I was doing it as a favour to her).

It all feels so stupid and hopeless. How do you cope with being NC with family?

OP posts:

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MrsPeelyWally · 02/01/2017 02:10

Op, I didn't not see it as you being no contact with your family. You're just letting the dust settle after a really upsetting day that must have been horrendous for you.

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Montane50 · 02/01/2017 03:44

Sit tight and let them do the running, you've done nothing wrong

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Rubyslippers7780 · 02/01/2017 03:46

As pp says. You have done nothing wrong. Let the dust settle. It is up to them to sort out. For your own sanity stay clear until they do.

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differentnameforthis · 02/01/2017 05:15

To be fair, op...your mother did a grand job of breaking your family, Christmas didn't have anything to do with it.

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mummytime · 02/01/2017 05:47

I agree it leaving them to get over it.
But I'd also suggest you look at your family dynamic. Maybe read the Stately home thread.
Think about: possible alcoholism? overstepping boundaries? And family roles you and your sister may have been cast in?

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bibbitybobbityyhat · 02/01/2017 06:24

This is between your sister and your mother. It really isn't about you. I know you feel caught in the middle, but so are other people (your dad or instance) but I am inclined to think you should let them sort it out between themselves. Maybe some harsh home truths to your mother about her drinking? I'm assuming she and your dad are not going to today's meal hosted by your sister?

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Chottie · 02/01/2017 06:28

I think you have been very wise. This is between your mother and sister and they need to sort it out. I would be stepping away too.

Do something nice for yourself today instead.

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CakesRUs · 02/01/2017 12:18

You've done nothing wrong. I understand you feeling sad about it all, but it's not your fault.

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SexNamesRFab · 02/01/2017 13:57

Thank you so much for your replies. The further away I get from it, the more insane the whole thing feels. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since it happened.

We are definitely a candidate for the stately homes thread. My sister is the troublemaker, and I am the bloody doormat.