Hi all, i feel really embarrassed writing this because i probably come across as stupid. This is a long post, sorry.
Im 24, been with my boyfriend just over 2 years and we have a 9 month old.
As always at the first of the relationship things were good, he seemed lovely, a real gentleman. I don't really know when things started to go wrong or how/why. For the last year and a half or so, he's just getting really hard to be around.
At first it was your normal arguments sometimes over silly stuff like little disagreements. Now though everyday there seems to be something that ive done wrong or havent done to his standard and he has worn me down so much.
I miss my old life, i used to be so happy. Im a singer, i was always writing songs with friends etc but I had to stop that because some of them were males and he hated it. He makes me feel utterly worthless. Hes in his last year of uni, i'm going back to my housekeeping job in the week. He always reminds me how I will never amount to nothing, how if he applied for every single job that i applied for he would get them all. I'm a retard, stupid, dumb bitch, i serve no purpose. No one will want me.
He told me when i was pregnant he would beat the baby out of me. He also goes on about how he doubts our baby is his. He has accused me of cheating a few times when I've been at home alone with our baby. She was born 8 weeks early, I had to have an emergency c section as i had pre eclampsia. I was in so much pain and out of it that for the first 2 days I didn't go and see her in the neonatal ward. I already feel so much guilt for that everytime i think about it, but he had to top it off and tell me i'm a useless mother because i didnt see her at first and that all the other mothers managed it. The whole thing was a massive emotional roller coaster and i never felt like he supported me. Everytime I cried or looked upset he would walk out because he was more worried about people thinking he'd done something to make me cry.
he's often said how he would love to punch me in the face, he hasnt hit me yet but i have been grabbed, bitten, spat on, hair pulled.
I'm sorry i'm rambling, i just need to get it out because i feel like i can't talk to anyone about it. i'm too embarrassed to tell my parents everything.
I really really want to leave him but he's threatened to have my baby taken from me if i do. He's said that his mum will fight for custody (shes currently living abroad with plans to move here, is very wealthy) he tells me she will get our baby because she has the money to do so.
I am scared of him. He puts me down constantly, i feel disgusting ive gained weight because ive been comfort eating as i just feel so miserable.
I look at my daughter and I feel so guilty. Why am i allowing her to be around this 
I just don't know where to start. Who do i speak to? can he really get our daughter taken from me? i dont know where i can live. My job is such a low amount each month i don't know how i could ever afford to live on my own.
I dont know what to do
please can anyone help
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I need to wake up and leave him.
Emzerness · 01/01/2017 14:13
Ah take a squeeze 
Lovely they always threaten to take the kids, always! It's apart of the script to keep you in line. It won't happen.
It sounds as if you just need a plan. Once you know how to the rest follows.
That link says everything l want to say to you, except 'you can do this, and yes they all say they will take the kids, it simply isn't true' You can do this. Get your ducks in a row, leave his sorry arse and don't look back .
OP taking the kids off you is a classic abusers trick.
He is an abusive wanker. Ring women's aid talk to someone is RL who can back what we are saying up
Sweetheart I have been where you are. I'm so glad you have shared your problems with us. Please contact women's aid. He will not get custody of your child. To do so he would need cafcass reports, social services assessment and reports, cast iron proof of your supposed inability to parent.
Of these things he has none.
Please leave him. Your life will be in glorious Technicolor again
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