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Sunken costs fallacy, a mistake or nostalgia?

(2 Posts)
Tootickyandsnufkin Fri 30-Dec-16 11:57:19

I don't know if I'm just being nostalgic because things have settled (and its bloody Xmas!). After 20 years I had good reasons to leave my husband. But in hindsight I wonder if I did not value our shared history. There is so much that I loved about him. We had shared interests (before DC!) anyway. We had so many good times in the past. We had retirement plans! Favourite holiday places. Places we wanted to go back to show DC. So many things we will never do now.

I simply cannot imagine starting again with someone. It feels like we grew up together. So i accept I'll be alone. And while a new relationship would be wrong right now anyway, some days I feel sad at the idea of always being alone.

Did anyone feel like this and move on? Did you get over the loss? It feels like the end of everything familiar in my life and plans and I wonder if I disregarded that.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Fri 30-Dec-16 19:51:41

I haven't been in the same situation OP, but shared interests don't make it worth being somebody who I'd imagine has ultimately lied to you.

100% wouldn't recommend that you picture anyone else in your life right now. But going forward- you do deserve to be happy and to have people in your life who make you happy whether it be a significant other or friends and family.

You're not alone. You will always mourn for the life that you thought you'd have but you should plan for the life that you now want. You owe it to yourself.

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