Bit of background, DS is 6. His dad and I split up when he was a baby. XP was violent to me, verbally abusive and cruel. He has suffered mental health problems in the past and they came to the fore when we split up.
Gradually he seemed to get better, he was on medication and other therapies and seemed much calmer. I allowed contact supervised my his mum and gradually I built up contact to weekends unsupervised.
All went well for years, we were civil and discussed any important matters calmly.
Recently he has lost his job and has seemed more on edge. When DS went for contact on Friday I waved him off, all ok.
Later on that night about 8pm I received a string of text messages from XP saying I was poisoning DS mind against him, I was hacking his computer to spy on him and was listening to his conversations. I asked him what was wrong and he just rambled on about me putting listening devices in his electronic equipment. Which I have not, obviously.
Fearing a relapse into poor mental health and subsequently DS safety I rang the police. They took it very seriously and told me to drive to XP house and they would meet me there and we would get DS back.
I did this. The police were amazing and I was very relieved DS was ok. He told me his dad had been acting strangely and talking about me eavesdropping his computer. dS was very very upset and scared and told me his dad had been drinking and drinks heavily during contact every weekend. I did not know this.
Anyway, I got DS home and settled finally for about 10pm. I blocked XP to avoid further trouble.
The next day I got a message from XPs mum saying I'd ruined Christmas and DS was perfectly safe with his dad. DS was due to spend Christmas eve and half of Christmas day with them all. She really can see no wrong in him and constantly makes excuses for him. She says I'm being dramatic and difficult and there's nothing wrong with XP.
I however am standing my ground and have stopped contact temporarily while I get more of an idea of XPs mental state, I feel his level of paranoia is dangerous. He has been sectioned in the past.
I'm also very concerned about the heavy drinking scenario too, he cannot adequately look after our son if he's drunk and I find it irresponsible.
He has also not contributed financially to our son for a year, despite earning a reasonable wage. This is just background, not a massive issue as I support DS with my own wage.
I was right to remove DS wasn't I? I have a feeling XPs mum is going to ring before long and I need to be sure I'm doing the right thing and hopefully you guys may be able to help me word my defence?
I have a wonderful social worker (am legal guardian for another child who lives with us) and I think I may seek her advice also.
Many thanks, I can do without this at Christmas!
The next da
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I was right to do this, wasn't I ?
25 replies
SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 25/12/2016 15:38
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