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Lonelieness and isolation

(4 Posts)
flibflob Sat 19-Nov-16 19:36:05

Has anyone got any experience/tips dealing with feeling lonely/being isolated? (TW: EA, rape)

To cut a long story short, I had MH difficulties and was forced to defer uni, moving back to my hometown where I didn't know anyone as I went to sixth form in a different town. I was working two jobs (one in an office and one a restaurant), which filled the void of a social life but obviously made me very tired and wasn't good for my health, so I quit the second one. I've moved out of my parents home into a shared house - I get along well with my housemates but am not close enough to socialise with them. I also had a boyfriend (who I met at the restaurant), who was EA and raped me, then went abroad for a job, so that has massively affected me. What a shitshow eh!

This is the first weekend that I've had off to myself in a long time, and all my friends are either working, at uni in other towns, or socialising with each other (but making sure to send me Snapchats of their evening, how delightful!) . Genuinely the only people I could reach out to are my parents, but they've had loads of stressful building work done recently and can't really have me over. It looks like I'm going to have to take my restaurant job back to avoid feeling like this, which I really don't want to have to do.

Angleshades Sat 19-Nov-16 20:36:10

I'm sorry you are feeling so low flowers. Firstly you need to get counselling to help you come to terms with your awful ex and what he did to you. Hopefully the counselling will help you to build up your confidence when meeting new people/friends.

Secondly there are lots of ways to start or increase your social circle. Meetup.com is a great way to start new activities and meet like minded people. You can join walking groups, cycling groups, star gazers, book clubs, poetry, rock climbing, gig goers...etc there's pretty much something for everyone. Give it a try, you never know you might meet some amazing new friends there.

The friends that are sending you snap chats of their nights out, have you asked if you can go along one night? There's no harm in asking. That's what I do if I'm at a loose end, if I hear there's a group of people going out somewhere and it's something I want to be part of I just ask if they'd mind an extra one tagging along. It can feel a bit awkward at first but soon enough you end up part of the group and get invited to loads of nights out. Give it a whirl. What have you got to lose.

flibflob Fri 25-Nov-16 18:27:48

Hi Angle, and thank you for your lovely reply - sorry for disappearing but I did read it and it made my weekend so much brighter flowers

I'm currently on the NHS and Rape Crisis waiting lists for counselling - looking at finding someone privately but everyone seems to be booked! In the meantime am doing lots of this like mindfulness, journalling etc.

Thank you for your suggestion of Meetup.com - I'd never heard of it but it was exactly what I needed smile Have found a few interesting groups on there and am excited to give it a try.

The friend I mentioned in my OP has form for doing things like this. She was setting up for a party and said 'let me know if you need any help' - it was quite an intimate thing so maybe not the best chance. Have had a few lovely evenings this week with friends and family though.

Shayelle Fri 25-Nov-16 20:23:50

flowers good luck to you op you sound very sweet x

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