No one to talk to

[movingonishard]

I wasn't sure where to post this as my problems us more "lack of relationships" - romantic, friends or family.
I feel so lonely as I have no one to really talk to, go out with etc
I'm a single mum to a 10 year old boy, no local friends anymore as people have moved away, no parents and one sister who has her own issues and rarely answers the phone when I call. At work I work directly with very few people and sometimes alone. School mum's are in their own cliques and generally unfriendly to me.
I can't join club, evening classes etc due to childcare and have tried online dating but never meet anyone suitable.
Any ideas?

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

MN?

I have no close friends either. It sucks. I come on here to be social.

Have no other advice. More sociable job?

[movingonishard]

Thanks for your reply :)
I've considered changing jobs but my current one is so convenient at the mo whilst D's is young, it doesn't make sense to leave.
I've thought about moving towns altogether but worry about DS and school plus we're past the date for sporting fir secondary schools now ..

[Simonneilsbeard]

I'm kinda in the same boat as you right now. I started a thread here a few days ago about it in fact. Iv only recently moved to England and I don't know a soul! Feeling pretty lonely and isolated at the moment.
I wish I had some advice for you but I just wanted to say that I totally sympathise x

MN is also my social life lol

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

I found the school gate thing hard. It's kind of fake.

I have no real advice, but I do get how crap it is.

Join some FB groups for whatever interests you have? I know it's all online but it's still socialising.

[movingonishard]

Thanks for your replies. I'll have a look for some Facebook groups - just type in the search bar to find them I guess. I look forward to weekends so much as its times away from work when I often feel so alone when they arrive

[temporarilyjerry]

If your DS is moving to secondary school, it won't be long before you will be able to attend meetings, courses, classes etc. Try to think of this as a short term problem and, in the meantime, socialise here with us.

[movingonishard]

Aww thanks :) Still feels like a long way off before I can leave him in the evening though as he's still only 10.
I wracking my brains to think of other ideas...

[Bluepowder]

You could do things with your son and with other people, if that makes sense. DH and dd both love the local drama group and go and do that together- they have their own friends there though. is there anything you could do like that?

[movingonishard]

Yes that's an idea but the issue is coming up with something! Most groups for children round here don't involve parents too plus it's usually the weekends he's not with me that are the biggest problem. He and I do go to places and do things together :)

[MotherOfBeagles]

Have you tried scouts? Is this something your son might be interested in? They have a huge range of activities for the kids and I've never known a group not desperate for parent helpers/new leaders. My biggest group of friends came from scouting as an adult.

Also the fb groups is a really good idea. My mum was similar to you, but a bit later in life. She was struggling to make friends so I got her on a load of crochet groups and now she's always chatting to people. We are both also on the beagle and German shepherd forums as we have those breeds and loads to talk to!

[jeaux90]

Hey, I know what you mean, as a single parent your time is so absorbed and when it's not you get those lonely moments. I found they become less over time. I socialise mainly with work people if I'm honest so longer term maybe a job change is good but there are some good suggestions from other posters. The scouts one sounds good. X

[Mrstumbletap]

Facebook groups
Book club
Choir group
Walking rambling?
Yeah maybe a more sociable job.
Bet there is another single mum at the school feeling just as lonely, try and find her/him and start a chat.

[Mrstumbletap]

And of course MN for the best laughs and advice

[SleepingTiger]

Go where the crowd is similar.

Change your job.

Do things together at weekends that involve people in public places (walks in park, by sea, countryside, farm parks). Lots of similar stuff, but be clear what you are looking for - relationship or friends.

[bikerlou]

Movingonishard, this is a real problem for an awful lot of people. When I was divorced the first time it was the same for me, my first husband was very controlling and I literally had no friends and my relations lived abroad. At one point I had no friends for three years solid and was beginning to go a bit mad. I just had work colleagues (I worked full time) and that was it. It was a terribly lonely 10 years. I had no computer as it was the 90's. My first foray out into the world was to join the Pagan Federation as I'm pagan and I started to meet people and my second husband (sadly now divorced after 17 years). But now I have lots of friends becasue of my marriage and facebook and various hobbies etc.
There are weekend activities, rambling, religious groups, volunteering - I volunteer for Shelter and the Cat's Protection League, go walking on Sundays with the ramblers and go to the gym and a gardening club. Even if people there are not your age group they will still introduce you to people if you get friendly with them. Also join a single parents group, new people join all the time and if you don't like the current members there will always be new ones. Yopu need to get out there to meet people, it feels awkward at first but you will get used to it. You can also get involved with cubs and scouts as a volunteer.

[Fuckingitup]

Hi
I haven't tried them out yet because my DC are at their dads at weekends but there are meetups local to me for single parent families. All sorts of family events. Worth checking //www.meetup.com

[IamHappy1976]

I feel your pain, op! When DD (5) is with her dad EOW I sometimes think my parents just phone to check I haven't died and could easily go all weekend without speaking to anyone else :-( It can be grim and worse in the winter! When the weather is nice I can potter outside and go for walks but when it's dark and horrible outside there are only so many feel good movies you can watch without getting maudlin.
I joined a gym. It's not great value for money as I can't go often enough but I have "discovered" other adults (school mums, neighbours, work colleagues) who are happy to say hello and have a chat or the occasional coffee in the café and I'm beginning to a. Enjoy the exercise and b. Have something in common to start a chat about. Baby steps, unmumsnetty hugs and perseverance!

[Fuckingitup]

Now this is a strange one (esp after bakerlou's great post). I'm not really up to getting out there yet but also lonely and I found this yesterday.

It's //www.casseroleclub.com.

You cook an extra portion and share it with someone in need.

There are 5 people listed within a mile of me. 3 elderly, 2 younger but ill. i often batch cook while DC are away so I thought i could share and have a little chat within someone else who is a bit lonely.

[IamHappy1976]

Excellent idea, Fuckingitup! When it snowed last year DD and I made cup cakes, got our wellies on and visited our neighbours ( who we never saw or spoke to). There's a bit more neighbourly love now and when I'm at a loose end we bake and share!

[Fuckingitup]

How lovely IamHappy.
One lady has said she particularly likes puddings. I never bake puddings so I thought yep, that appeals!!

[Umblubblub]

Is there a local gingerbread group in your area? If you're not familiar with it it's a charitable organisation for single parents for support, advice and friendship.
www.gingerbread.org.uk

[RingOfFire79]

I know other people who've been in the same boat and they've found this website called //www.meetup.com (where you can look for meetup groups in your local area - they vary, sometimes people go for yoga or arrange a group walk, sometimes they do a pub quiz). I don't know if there's something that might suit in your local area but I've joined a friend of mine at some of the meetup stuff and the ones I've been to have been with really lovely people who are all looking to make new friends

I also know from personal experience (I enjoy politics) that joining your local party association can be a good way of meeting new people so if you have an interest in politics of campaigning this might be something you could do?

[IamHappy1976]

Thanks, Fuckingitup :-) Good luck with your casserole club!

[RingOfFire79]

Oh blast, I've just properly read your last line about not being able to join a club due to childcare... :S I know that meetup do one-off things so perhaps even if you couldn't make it regularly there might still be something you could attend?

[bikerlou]

They all sounds great! i could only ever do weekend things and there are weekend events.