When enough is enough and to go to court....

[EdgeofGlory]

I posted on here several times over the years about my unfaithful husband. True to form a leopard didn't change his spots so when I found photos of old women in my bed performing sexual acts on him I called time.
6 months after filing for divorce and no petition signed, no interim finances agreed and no cooperation on his or his solicitors part. I had hoped to be divorced by now but he is stalling every step of the way. The only way to settle and move forward is to go to court but this will cost me £20-30k (and him) at least.

I want it over and to move on. I have no feelings for him apart from contempt. He is trying to control me with money, keeping the joint account overdrawn to the max and putting money in late at night for the next day's direct debits. He is paying the house bills but no more. He is a high earner and earns more in a day then I do in a month.
I want to be able to manage my own money and not be dictated to by him.
If I go to court I will have to find the money to go through the process.
I just really am at the end of my tether but don't know how to move it foreword.

Anyone been through the financial court process and can advise?
Thanks in advance.

[Racmactac]

Have you got a solicitor? If so what are they doing?
I'll work on basis that you haven't.
You need to get the petition personally served on him - phone court and ask them for help.
Issue form A yourself. They will send you a date for hearing in about 16 weeks. Prepare form e - get all accompanying documents together and send to his solicitor on the day the court tell you to.
If he is high earner I also suggest you include an application for maintenance pendin suit.
You could always instruct barrister on direct access to represent you at court.

[Racmactac]

You could also ask for an order that he pays your legal costs if he earns lots and you earn nothing

[EdgeofGlory]

Yes I have a solictor and so does he. My solicitor writes, emails and rings but it's all one way traffic. He was personally served the petition in July after dodging the company! My Form E has been ready since July.

I have a barrister but we have to keep delaying the appointment because without his full financial disclosure the barrister can't advise correctly.

My solicitor has advised that we can go for costs but there's no guarantee I will get them and I could be saddled with a £30k debt.

I'll google form A.

Thank you, any more advice greatly appreciated.

[Racmactac]

I'm sorry but I don't agree with advice you have received.
He has been personally served so you can now apply for decree nisi.
So as I understand you have issued form A for proceedings to start but because he hasn't completed form E the first appointment hasn't actually taken place?

[EdgeofGlory]

The divorce petition is for adultery, he's not signed the petition so until he signs it I can't apply for the decree nisi I am told?

We haven't issued form A as we haven't exchanged Form E. If I issue Form A then I assume I'm starting the court route along with all the costs?

[Racmactac]

issue an amended petition on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. it will cost £95 to amend but tick the box to say he should pay the costs.
time to get tough.

Issue Form A and it starts the financial procedure, then you will exchange form E's. Get solicitor to write an arsey letter saying unless you cooperate within so many days you will be issuing proceedings and bring this letter to attention of court when considering costs and just get on with it.
people like this will keep you waiting forever.
maybe consider changing solicitor to someone who's going to push matters. I would also question why you have barrister if you haven't even issued!

[traviata]

then change your petition to rely on unreasonable behaviour - he doesn't have to admit it or even reply if he doesn't want to.

There is a fee to pay to amend a petition, but it sounds as thought it would be worth it.

[traviata]

I agree with racmatac, cross posted.

[EdgeofGlory]

Solicitor wrote (and emailed a copy because they deny receipt of letters regularly!) and has given him until Monday to reply or we will issue court proceedings. It's the costs I'm scared of as I can't fund £25k.

If I'm correct its £225ish to issued Form A but I fall into the low enough earnings for it to be free. I suppose we can issue Form A and then that will trigger Form E at minimal cost - am I correct?

If I amend the petition to Unreasonable behaviour and it will get me a decree nisi then I'd do it in a heartbeat. I have a pen drive with all the photos and videos on if ever I needed confirmation of his adultery!

[MrsBertBibby]

Why on earth did your solicitor issue on adultery without a written admission in place?

[Racmactac]

I agree you never issue on adultery unless they are happy to admit it.

[RandomMess]

Wishing you all the best, KOKO

Sorry I don't have any legal advice but it sounds as though your solicitor hasn't been the best...

[EdgeofGlory]

He will admit the adultery and has done but he hasn't signed the petition, half the problem seems to be his solicitor who has a reputation for being very slow

[EisforEffingHell]

He can be forced to disclose by the court, what solicitor quoted you 20-30k?! I'll recommend you another one

[EdgeofGlory]

Two solicitors have said that a full financial settlement from start to finish would be £20-£30k for the whole court process, child maintenance, spousal maintenance, house, pensions - all signed and sealed. Solicitor and barrister fees included

[MrsBertBibby]

Well that would be right if you have to go all the way to final hearing, but most cases do settle before that.

I've done the job for 20 years, I've had few clients who have been stuck with costs that high.

[EisforEffingHell]

Child maintenance should be dealt with by the child maintenance service and not your solicitor as any agreement reached via lawyers isn't legally enforceable I think you're being ripped off BIG time.

[EdgeofGlory]

His latest claim today is that 'he didn't sign a deed of trust 6yrs ago signing his share of the equity over to me and if he did it was under duress'!! I can see this excuse of a man I married is going to take every opportunity to drag this out........I feel love I was married to a conman

[EdgeofGlory]

Is there an average £ in your professional opinion?

[notmrscookie]

I filed for divorce 2 years ago after dp cheated on me..paid loads for mediation completed September 2015 .he will not sign .should be in court Xmas time. Start asap or it will drag on forever

[EdgeofGlory]

I will get on to it on Monday when solictor back in the office. Mission divorce full on!