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Letting an old friendship die ...sad :(

(4 Posts)
ellymisiot Wed 12-Oct-16 15:59:02

I am just feeling sad about the demise of an old and once close friendship. About 17 years ago I worked very closely with this guy for a few years and we really got on well and also with each others partners and just really supported each other. I eventually left that job but we stayed in touch often even when I moved away often calling and meeting up if we where near each other.
I haven't seen him now for four years although we did speak on the phone about six months ago. He normally gets in touch around my birthday in July or sends a card bu this year nothing. Now I have found out that he was in my town for a few days over the weekend and didn't let me know or arrange to meet. I'm not mad about it but it is just sad really to lose an old friend of so many years. If I am honest it has been coming for a while.

He and his wife are travelling around a bit at the moment so it is a bit difficult to get in touch with them. I will send a card to the address I have for them at christmas but beyond that I will probably just lose touch with them.

It just makes me sad, that is all especially as I have noticed it with others over the past few years, I guess it is only natural but still sad.

JustSpeakSense Wed 12-Oct-16 16:06:03

There is a lovely quote:

'We have friendships for a reason, a season or a lifetime'

It is sad when we think a friendship will last a lifetime but doesn't, just enjoy those friendships you have right now and try not overthink things flowers

MizzEmma Wed 12-Oct-16 16:14:38

I think that's natural. I think most friendships aren't life long but are created through circumstances at the time.

It does mean though that lifelong friendships are to be treasured when you find them.

We moved away from the UK earlier this year. I've been quite surprised by who has made an effort to keep in touch and who has not.

One person I thought of as a very good friend has basically ignored all contacts from me since we left. I was worried that perhaps something was wrong with her/her family but DH got in touch with her DH and all is well. I'm not angry with her but I am a little sad.

Meanwhile I've had lovely messages/cards/letters/Skype calls from other friends who I thought might not keep in touch.

I do think that friendships can ebb and flow a bit. Maybe you and your friend will come back into contact in future years.

SquareRootz Wed 12-Oct-16 16:31:56

I completely identify with this. I had an ex who was a great friend but an immature arse as a boyfriend, and we stayed in touch for a very long time after the romance broke up. It worked really well when I was still working in the big smoke and we could meet up for drinks after work. But once my DCs arrived and I had to give up work we found that it didn't translate so well to home invitations. He was monumentally rubbish as a house guest and both his wife and my DH resented being dragged along as appendages. I had to put the friendship on the back burner and accept things had moved on. sad flowers to you because it's hard to come to terms with.

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