Ok sorry for what may become a long thread...here goes
So my marriage to my husband in my eyes is dead, he talks to me or my boobs all the time, constantly talking about sex, never ever romantic, likes his porn ALOT!! Is very controlling, this has made me become very unhappy with family life and within myself. I feel very controlled. This has been escalating over the last few years. We have had therapy, came out positive talked the talk but didn't walk the walk. Even my parents dislike him, they just put up with him for my sake,
Anyways he is aware of my unhappiness and blames me for it and says only I can makes myself happy and to stop blaming others, well I thought that people's behaviours can have a long term affect on you if it starts becoming unhappy.
Sooo , my mum lives abroad,she has done so for 6 years. I have been going out there alone, for me time for the past 3 years. We have all been as a family but husband moaned about my mum all the time and it wasn't enjoyeable plus he has managed to turn our kids against my mum so they don't like her. She has her moments but hey we are all human.
So the first year I arrived she introduced me to this beach boy who works on the regular beach she goes on every day ( lucky her) he was very charming my mums speaks the lingo, he said I was beautiful, like they all do that was that. Felt a warm fuzzy feeling that someone actually made that sort of comment even if it was from the beach boy. Have me. Bit of a confidence boost. So that year nothing happened. Just chatted with him in the beach that was all.
Well this year I have just got back, from this holiday an emotional mess, mum and I and a friend went to his beach bar the first night I was there, I'd had a few as the first night and a bit excited, he asked me to go for a drink when he finishes work he remembers me from lst year but to shy to talk to me. I said you are welcome to join us at our table for drinks if you like. So he did. I began to get more drunk so, lol!!! Mum took me home.
The next dAy I couldn't go to that beach as felt embarrassed by my excess drinking. I plucked up the courage to go the next. He came nd sat with me in the beach, asked if I was ok and I apologised for my drunken behaviour. He then asked if we could go for a drink, part of me was shall I the other I can't as I'm married. I eventually agreed just As friends, I made it perfectly clear I am not interested in anything more. He knows I'm married and have children as does he so alarm bells start ringing. I did go for a drink, I stayed sober the whole night he had one or two beers. It transpires we are leading similR life's. He is unhappy with marriage as an i and many many more things. This is getting long enough, At first I did have my barriers up but by the end of the holiday we met up every night, sober, in a quiet bar talking and laughing. He never EvER once tried to get in my pants. Which I very much respected. I then start to get feelings, Holiday came to N end, he asked if he could come up to my mums apartment for a coffee to say goodbye, that made me very sad and feel like I may be leaving something very special behind. We had a little kiss before the transfer bus came, this for some reason felt amazing in my tummy, now I'm back he continues to message me every day the first few days it was like 20 times. Day but now it's still everyday but thankfully not so many of the texts.
Now my dilemma is, do I go take a risk and seek happiness somehow some day with this guy or do I continue to stay in misery for the kids sake in my marriage for the next few years until my two are old enough to fly the nest.
Any helpful advise is very welcome.
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Will this work??
6 replies
Kokeshi80 · 09/10/2016 13:06
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