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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Hate going to bed upset

12 replies

sammyjayneex · 29/09/2016 02:40

So me and my husband was downstairs, I fell asleep on sofa and woke up some time after, we went to bed but I can feel some sort of atmosphere from him. I ask him if I've done anything wrong and he says no, I asked him if there is anything the matter and he's like no but he still avoiding me in bed and won't come close or touch me like normal so I sense there is something ive done. I ask him again and he kicks of saying for I don't let him go to sleep he won't help with the school run. I hate going to bed anxious, I'm sat here wondering what I've done. Why can't he just tell me so we can sort it out instead of punishing me subtly. If I've done something i can apologise or solve it but he just keeps it to himself and avoids me. It's really stressing me out and I can't cope or settle now I'm on edge.

OP posts:
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troubleatmill2011 · 29/09/2016 05:53

Hi, sorry you feel like this. Has he a history of behaving like this? It feels like he has as you seem exhausted from it all.... Flowers for you Op

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IsNotGold · 29/09/2016 06:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviene · 29/09/2016 06:11

You asked what was wrong, he said nothing and then you pestered him some more until he got annoyed. Totally understand him, I have a DP like you who doesn't understand that sometimes I just need to be left alone even if I'm 'in the mood'. Everybody needs some space OP... Just saying!

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JustGettingStarted · 29/09/2016 06:23

Has he done this before?

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AnyFucker · 29/09/2016 06:29

Sammy, your "partner" is a complete cunt

You have posted many, many examples of the ways in which he is a complete cunt. Your life will never improve while you keep trying to pacify him. Your upset is sport to him.

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seven201 · 29/09/2016 06:33

It's late, maybe he's just tired and wants to sleep!

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/09/2016 07:04

What AF wrote. You are simply repeating the same old with him as you have always done. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Nothing will change unless you decide otherwise.

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Costacoffeeplease · 29/09/2016 07:29

You've been posting similar about him for years now, and will be doing so forever, unless you do something about it

He's a knob, he's not going to change

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TheNaze73 · 29/09/2016 08:06

I agree with Vivienne

Some people need their own space to energise etc from time to time. You asked him, he told you, yet you didn't accept his answer. I had an ex who'd ask if I was alright, every two minutes, to the point that the reason I wasn't alright, as they were annoying. It felt like they couldn't cope with silence & had to fill the space between proper conversation with inane waffle.

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TemporarilyLost · 29/09/2016 08:17

I hate going to bed without a resolution as well. I don't sleep well and get panicky in the night. I'm sure some relationship manual said never to go to bed on an argument.
Being frozen out is horrible.
But as most established mnetters have said if it's a long standing thing something has to give FWIW I'm telling myself to shit or get off the pot too

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AnyFucker · 29/09/2016 08:35

As you have been advised before, Sammy, if you keep posting tiny snap shots of your horrible relationship you will get some people who tell you that you are equally responsible for things going so wrong.

Are you looking for validation that you provoke his abuse ? Is that what he tells you ? I suppose that is a fucked up way of justifying staying with him.

And now you will disappear, Sammy. Back to your abusive relationship. Until the next time.

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leaveittothediva · 29/09/2016 09:03

Oh dear, you've got one of those, they expect you to read their f*g minds as to what's wrong, cause they always say nothing, or very little even though clearly they have the rage with you. I'd stick it to him, that your fd up of this treatment and it has to change. It's brutal, look we all have arguments, don't bloody sit up blaming yourself, tell him next time you don't do mind reading.

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