Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Don't know how to end a marriage when husband thinks nothing's wrong...

(13 Posts)
WendyBurfitt Thu 22-Sep-16 20:21:05

My husband thinks I should just lower my expectations and count my blessings. Everything is on his terms. You may have seen a previous thread where he falsely accused me of child abuse. Now that's all over he's acting like it never happened. He won't do counselling (too expensive yet he's just spent £250000 on a new Audi! There no sex, no affection, no conversation unless it's something he can cope with talking about. I'm so sad and bored and lonely. I have no money to rent elsewhere.

jayho Thu 22-Sep-16 20:41:31

That's a very expensive Audi grin

You can tell him it's over and start divorce proceedings. You are entitled to leave. Do you have joint finances?

Threepineapples Thu 22-Sep-16 20:45:56

Why don't you just file for divorce? You don't need his permission.

If you feel a bit daunted do you have a friend or family member who could go with you to see a solicitor?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:49:22

Leave him.
File for divorce
Claim child support
Be happy

fusspot66 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:50:29

If you're married, half that Audi is yours!

SaggyNaggy Thu 22-Sep-16 20:51:13

What he thinks matters not a single jot, you're unhappy, your life is wasting away, you don't have to be with someone who makes ypu iunhappy.

WendyBurfitt Thu 22-Sep-16 20:52:53

Yes I noticed the extra 0!! I guess I'm worried it's not justified - when he's as happy as Larry I wonder if he's right that I'm expecting too much.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:54:15

Of course he is happy. He had got a lovely new car. And a doormat.

jayho Thu 22-Sep-16 20:58:34

YOU matter! What YOU expect matters.

RandomMess Thu 22-Sep-16 21:00:53

Ermmmmm, you are unhappy, there are differences that cannot be reconciled, it would seem there is also financial abuse.

3 valid reasons to leave regardless of what he wants/feels.

WendyBurfitt Sun 25-Sep-16 18:33:19

When discussing with a friend the other day she suggested that maybe I was emotionally abusing him for wanting him to be something he's not (ie interested in me!)

Joysmum Sun 25-Sep-16 19:14:12

What's clear is that there's nothing wrong to him, things suit him as they are.

This isn't working for you and if he doesn't see an issue then things will never improve. That's reason enough to call time.

hermione2016 Sun 25-Sep-16 20:24:37

Didn't see the previous post about child abuse but really if he did this then there is no trust or respect for you.

That is reason enough.
When you raise the issue does he just deny it? If so then he's gaslighting you.Another good reason.

Do you have children? You can see a solicitor for usually 30mins free.Dvorce can be paid for out of joint funds, don't let this stop you.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now