Hello everyone! I'm a fairly established Mumsnetter, but it's my first time on 'Relationships', and I'd really appreciate your input here.
Backstory is that my 18 year old marriage came to an end 4 years ago. I am 42 and have 3 children. I have been feeling lonely, and decided that it was time to get out there and try to meet someone. So I joined Match.com about a month ago. It's my first experience of a dating site/relationship since my marriage.
I chatted with a guy on there for a couple of weeks; we had some great banter and a good laugh. I really enjoyed it. So when he suggested meeting up, I didn't hesitate, as by then had built up a good rapport with him.
We met and the date was brilliant. We texted lots thereafter, and I was really happy and positive about it. Then a day later his texts took a slightly sleazy turn, which culminated in him sending a photo of myself. I explained to him that this was too much for me too soon, that I had been out of the dating game for 20 years, and I wasn't used to this kind of stuff. He was apologetic and absolutely mortified; he couldn't get over having made an arse of himself, so we didn't see each other again. I was actually rather gutted, but vowed never again to email for weeks on end before meeting, as in hindsight I was way too over invested in the whole thing from the start 
So I got chatting to another guy. He seemed straightforward, normal, decent, bookish, dependable. I didn't feel particularly attracted to him, but he seemed like just what I needed. The kind of guy who would always text when he said he would. We haven't met, but swapped numbers last night, as his membership was due to expire. We exchanged a few texts, and even they started taking a sleazy turn! He started talking about his tastes in women's underwear 
I started messaging another guy today, who seemed very nice. Then he asked if I was curvy all over, or "just in the places that boys like". Heaven help me. He asked me about the free time I have. Apparently I have time to "be a good mum, and a naughty girlfriend". 
Really, is this how it's going to be? I didn't think I was a prude until I joined. I can flirt and have a laugh. And I cannot wait to have sex in due course, as it has been so long! But this, really?? Is it the norm these days for the opposite sexes to chat in this way, so early on? And is there a dating site where I'm likely to meet someone a wee bit more gentlemanly?
Would really like to hear from those of you who have a bit more experience in the ways of internet dating. Are my expectations too high? I just don't know any more. I expected better of a paid site I think.
Thanks 
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Relationships
The best, non sleazy dating sites? Your experiences please ...
Dieu · 20/09/2016 17:59
Hi Clawdeen! Please could you post a link to the dating thread, as I can't see it. Thanks so much for your reply
dieu we feel your pain, it's not the sites that are sleazy....it's the majority of the users! They are everywhere, I suggest the minute the chat takes that turn for the worse....stop it there, block if you need to. The politer ones are there, they are just bloody hard to find. 
Upto 1k now on the dating thread. I'll start up a new one now. Come and join us.
I don't think any site is going to be free of pervy sleazes - I think it's just a matter of perseverance and luck in trying to find one of the few non-sleazy men that use them. They do exist though!
Horsey, me too! Well, my BF, obviously, not yours. I hope! I came on this thread just to recommend it. It's not that well known or big, so I think that filters out the dick-pic types.
I was on GSM and was very disheartened by the number of men who specified a younger woman. I also joined Muddy Matches, messaged a few men, and was ignored. The final straw for MM was when I was messaged by a chap approaching fifty who still lived at home, and whose profile picture showed him holding his ferrets . That's not a euphemism.
OK Cupid I found quite sleazy, and I deleted my profile after being approached in quick succession by a polyamorous guy and a guy who'd taken a picture of himself in his underpants. Not sure what to do now; that was almost a year ago and in many ways it's nice not to be bothered with all the faff embryonic mad cat lady
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