This is a bit of a long one sorry in advance and thank you if you make it to the end.
My parents have been married for 25 years. They met when my dm was newly divorced with 2 children (just moved into a new house) apparantly things were ok, he left the army, gained a career and was able to support my dm and her dc. My dm is profoundly deaf. He learned how to sign. They got married and went on to have 2 more dc.
Fast forward 17 years and my older sibling (dms 1st born) moved out. As far as i'm aware his behaviour drove her away, i don't know what he done as no one has told me, just that he took something way too far and that was that. They do not talk and haven't since the day she moved out. My other sibling moved out the following year. Dm was depressed and heart broken but managed to move on and focus on her 2 dc that were still here. I think my dm blames my df for this but they never talk about it, it was the core of all arguments for a long time.
For years they had really bad arguments which would result in my df taking my brother and staying away all night (i couldn't understand why df didn't want to take me) and dm would be distraught and the police would be called (neighbour would help dm) but nothing ever happened.
For a while everything was ok, df had a steady income until he was in a bad accident (head injury). He hasn't had a full time job for 2 years (zero hour contract) and this worries dm so she does nag but its understandable, they have a mortgage and bills to pay and df doesn't seem to be doing anything about it.
Me and my dd live with my parents (can't afford to move out and help my parents) dm is fine with it, she loves having dd. Df makes comments all the time about my parenting skills (or lack of) tells me i'm terrible and if dd cries he asks 'did mummy hit you?' 'shes bad isn't she?'. He tells me he fells sorry for my dd but won't say why. (dds dad isn't involved)
Recently we went on holiday and he was constantly angry. Angry that he had to walk around a theme park (he chose to come) angry that we wanted to see the gothic castle (he sat in the car the whole time) we never moaned when he wanted to walk around war cemetries (not suitable for a small child) he moaned when dd cried out and told her to be quiet (shes 2 years old). Once we got back to our accommodation he flipped out and told us he's fed up of us speaking to him like shit (i was sticking up for my dd) and we were to pack our bags because we were leaving. We said no, don't be silly, we can sort this out. To which he replied that he was leaving without us (in the middle of france 2 hours away from paris with no transport or money) he left for all of 20 minutes, whilst we sat there and worried about how we were going to get home. He came back and was acting normal, trying to have a laugh and asked if everyone had calmed down
He constantly picks arguments with me and dm, walks out, comes back and acts normal and we are supposed to act like nothing ever happened.
I am fed up of his behaviour and so is my dm, she doesn't know what to do.
Can you help me to help my mum?
If you made it this far, thank you.
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Can you help my mum?
16 replies
Usernameinvalid16 · 19/09/2016 12:00
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