Hey all;
It has been about 7 months since I broke up with abusive ex (DS dad).
He hasn't bothered to see his child since..unless I'm the one doing the drop off.
I've always concluded that I didn't want anything (financial wise) from DS dad; that I can do it on my own and be an independent mum.
I quickly changed my mindset, when DS and I had a horrible couple of weeks. I finished studying and spent the remainder of my grants on graduation clothes, summer child care etc (as I was in my final year, STE don't fund towards childcare in the summer, but I had an extension and still had to go to uni back and forth); so I literally had no money left from that. Also; as I have finished studying, I'm entitled to receive back some benefits; though there was complications and it didn't get sorted and keep getting delayed. So I literally had to scrape money to buy some uniform bits for DS, allergen free food and so forth. It was horrendous. It was then and there that I realised that if I apply to child maintenance, that the money was for my DS, not because of the fact that it's coming from DS dad, but for the fact it can be used to help support our son.
For the past couple of months; I've been asking DS dad about when he will give me some money to support DS and to see DS. Recently, DS dad has just told me that his dad is dying; and that the reason why he doesn't feel to see DS at this present time (or ever!!) is because he knows that his child is alive and well, whereas his dad is dying and I'm bringing up stuff like I need him to support and see his DS (he hasn't financially supported his child for 6 years). I told him that I am very sorry about his dad and wish him well, but it doesn't mean that he needs to neglect his responsibilities (was that too harsh?).
I feel like DS dad is worried because he feels that if Home office knows that he doesn't provide for his child (how wold they know anyway?) that he may face implications. But I don't care, as that's not my problem. I just want him to financially provide for his child.
What do you mums netters think? Or am I being insensitive.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DS dad is not financially supporting his DS and it's driving me mad!
notgivingin789 · 04/09/2016 19:47
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.