Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Self pitying whine

(10 Posts)
roarfeckingroar Sun 04-Sep-16 10:43:34

Everyone I know seems to be getting married, engaged or pregnant. I currently live with my ex until moving out in 2 weeks. It's all civil but very sad.

I'm 28 and I know that's young blah blah but I can't help feel a bit sad that I'm once again starting again alone when it seems everyone around me is getting married/engaged. I figure I need some time on my own before even thinking about meeting anyone, a new relationship is last thing I'm looking for, but can someone please give me a slap around the face and tell me it doesn't mean I'm going to end up alone with 43 dogs?

Sorry for self indulgent whine.

BreatheDeep Sun 04-Sep-16 10:53:23

Better to be alone with your dogs than a bad relationship!
But it doesn't mean that is what is going to happen. It means you are sensible and strong enough to realise when something is not right. And you are giving yourself a chance to find that perfect relationship. flowers

SoOverItNow Sun 04-Sep-16 10:58:48

It's totally normal to be sad at the end of a relationship. You have decided to end it for a reason. You will look back and be glad one day.

Focus on what you want for the future. Make the most of your time alone to make yourself happy.

The future is bright.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-16 11:02:47

I think 28 is a fantastic age to start a new life. You know what you don't want, now, and you know what's good for you and what's bad for you.

Try to think of your life as a whole. Are you happy in your job? The town you live in? Your friends? What sort of life do you want to be living in five years time?

roarfeckingroar Sun 04-Sep-16 11:24:27

Work is stressful but good on the whole. I live in London, own my own house, have good friends, exercise a lot, fortunate in terms of disposable income. I can't complain really, I just worry that I'm going to be left behind, alone, crying into my Alsatian while everyone around me is married with kids. I just wonder if there's something wrong with me.

BreatheDeep Sun 04-Sep-16 12:37:30

I think everyone has those worries. I'm sure you'll find someone who you'll want to marry in time. So many people I know were over 30 when they married and starting having babies. Only one of my friends was under and married at 27, had first baby at 29. You'll be fine. And you're in London so it's not like there is a lack of new people to meet! Just enjoy life how you want to and it will happen eventually.

Bambamrubblesmum Sun 04-Sep-16 12:41:53

28 is a great age to be single! Confident enough to know what you want, young enough to get it. Throw into that your disposable income and you've got some great times ahead.

Don't settle
Be all about you right now.
Be confident and positive about the future.
Most importantly enjoy!!

I met the love of my life at 30 grin

roarfeckingroar Sun 04-Sep-16 12:49:16

Thank you everyone smile I appreciate the positive comments and stories

GashleyCrumbTiny Sun 04-Sep-16 12:58:07

You sound pretty sorted and switched on to me! You know you're plenty young enough for marriage and babies etc to all work out. You're not desperately rushing towards that at all cost, but taking a sensible decision to have some single time just being yourself. You know exactly whatsort pep talk you need. You allowed to feel sad about the rather crummy turn of recent events, but you sound more than capable of weathering that storm and coming out the other side.

Onward and upward! But don't give yourself a hard time about feeling a bit crap for a while.

RedSquirrel24 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:28:02

Concentrate on yourself while you can, work out exactly what you want and don't worry about being left behind by your friends, it's not a race or competition to get married first/middle/last but when your time comes It will be the perfect time for you. Also don't worry that all your friends kids will be older than yours, when you have children you will make lots of friends with people who have kids the same age so they will always be able to have plenty of piers. End of relationships are sad and tough times but it will make you stronger and clearer on what you want need so you will have a better and brighter future, which it sounds like you are well on the way to achieving, embrace this time and make the most of being single, I doubt it will be a particularly long phase on the grand scale of your life, good luck

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now