Not sure if ibu

[wonderingsoul]

So been with dp for 2 years were having bit if a of rough patch. I feel like im trying harder then him so may be over sensitive here

We have a bbq to gonto. One of my best friends. The last party we went to there was drama and it wasnt the best time.
He has agreed to come with me though he has said he doesnt really want to because of the drama that he is sure will happen ( tbf to him.. its a fair chance)
I have said if theres hint of something kicking off we will keave straight away as i dont want to be invloved in drana ethier but as its my best friend and its her 30th i feel i have to go. ( drama there wont be fighting but other stuff may kick off)


Am i being unresonable to be upset by the toatal unwanting to come and spend the day with us? Even though he has said he will come? I feel i may be because things are not completely 100 percent with us right now i may be being more senstive to it

[OhNoNotMyBaby]

I think you are BU. Why on earth would he want to go somewhere where something might 'kick off' - especially since it happened last time.

There's no way I would go! It's not my idea of an enjoyable evening out.

[wonderingsoul]

I am arnt i.

I may speack to him later and say he doesnt have to come if he really doesnt want to.

[Gazelda]

Why on earth would he be looking forward to it? It's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you, it's that he doesn't want to go to a party that in all likelihood will 'kick off'.

[Gazelda]

X-post. That's good. I hope the day goes off without drama and you can catch up with your DP later in the weekend.

[wonderingsoul]

I think its because in the past month weve spent maybe 24 hours together due to hes work him being in another country and him being ill

So it felt like he should have been jumping to spend time with me. Which i appriciate he said hed still go but if thats the case why say yes ill go but really dont want to, why not yes ill come and keep hes thoughts to himself.

Ill speack to him when he phones on hes break. ( he works stupied hours.

[Gazelda]

From his point of view - "we've hardly spent any time together recently, so why isn't she jumping to spend time with me? Surely she can miss the party that's inevitably going to end in drama?"

[HeddaGarbled]

I think the fact that he is prepared to go to the party with you even though he doesn't really want to proves that he does want to spend time with you and furthermore is willing to do something he doesn't want to for your sake. So he sounds like a good guy to me.

He's been working abroad and then he's been ill. I bet what he'd really like to do is spend time with you but at home, not at some awful party.

I think you've come up with a good compromise about leaving if things get tiresome. But I do think he should then get to choose what he would like to do for the rest of the weekend.