Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Wedding anniversary a big deal?

(8 Posts)
Gingerlilly Mon 11-Jul-16 22:41:43

AIBU - in my family we have never really bothered with wedding anniversaries except between hubby and wife but recently it was my Parents Golden Wedding Anniversary. They went away on holiday the week before to the other side if the world and then returned 16,days later. I had arranged for a pressy to be delivered the day after they got back but apparently I am a terrible daughter for not organising something before they went. Weve never really done anniversaries before so I didnt realise it was such a big deal until my Mum just informed me she spent a good amount of time crying on hols because we had apparently forgotten. (Despite the fact i called and said happy anniversary on the day) I thought it would be nice to come back and get something afer a holiday to beat the post holiday blues. I feel bad about it but not sure I am in the wrong.

pictish Mon 11-Jul-16 22:44:26

You're not...she expecting you to be a mind reader and know what course of action you should have taken without her having to tell you. If it has never been a biggy it's understandable that you wouldn't think it was any different this time.
Just tell her what you've told us.

BackforGood Mon 11-Jul-16 22:52:36

Generally a golden wedding is quite a landmark, and its pretty normal to mark it - if only with a special meal out with close family.
We don't make a fuss of 'ordinary' anniversaries, but I would expect a bit of fuss for a golden wedding, yes.
However I can't be doing with this "spent time crying on holiday" because you didn't arrange something. If you want to celebrate an occasion, then go ahead and either book something yourself or ask you nearest and dearest to book something. Not saying anything, expecting someone to mind read, and then gettingupset because nobody read your mind is quite frankly ridicuolous.

Gingerlilly Thu 14-Jul-16 15:49:16

Thanks guys, Thank goodness I am not a complete daughter failure. All is well again. We've decided to agree to disagree and it is not worth falling out over at the end of the day. It is really hard when you work full time trying to get everything done especially if you have to remember things way in advance because of holidays etc - when you are retired I guess you have more time to think about it.

TheNaze73 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:51:17

YANBU & you are not Uri Gellar.

cavkc123 Thu 14-Jul-16 17:59:07

Unless they expressed a desire to do something special, you're not a mind reader and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

When it was my parents 50th we talked about it and they said they weren't particularly bothered about what and where, so long as we could do something all together (I'm an only child). We ended up taking them and the 4 of us to Barcelona for a long weekend as a surprise, with them staying on for an extra couple of days on their own.

It was their Diamond last year so had to organise the card for the Queen so make a note in your diary now grin

C0ff3333 Fri 15-Jul-16 00:37:38

Not many people reach 50 years anniversary, so it is a bit special

However as they were away on holiday, you were in a difficult position

If you had given them something small to take with them on holiday to open would that have made a difference ?
Small card, small present ?

I think the post holiday present was ok

RadiatorBlues Fri 15-Jul-16 09:48:23

Your mother is being absolutely ridiculous. Old enough to know better!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now