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Avoidance techniques

(6 Posts)
Flurple Fri 08-Jul-16 20:29:30

I am currently going through a complicated, painful, hurtful, breakup. My ex wouldn't show any affection towards me in public (this is relevant) and would treat me like I was crazy if I raised any concerns about us with him.
There is a manager in my workplace, he is married, from the day I met him there was something there for this reason I avoid talking to him about anything other than work. I didn't know he was married when we first met so we flirted, a very good friend told me he's married and I backed away at the speed of light (my ex and I were on one of our many breaks at this point).
Since I told my ex to never speak to me again (a rule I stupidly broke today) I have been feeling, low, abandoned, rejected, you name it, I've been feeling it, in particular that pain in your heart that makes you feel like it's being slowly twisted by a vice.
Today, I caught the manager watching me, he's started to pay me attention again. Normally I would ignore, avoid, anything but today I need affection and attention and he's giving me attention.
He is married and I would never be the other woman in another woman's story. Can someone give me hints and tips to avoid him? I have to talk to him regarding work but other hints and tips, I am not able to tell him where to go because he is one of my managers, I have learnt not to get involved with colleagues but I'm feeling so delicate right now I don't trust myself.

Hoolet Fri 08-Jul-16 20:31:20

Remember, you can't have sex with someone on the other side of the room.

Just keep him on the other side of the room! And don't flirt, giggle or give sly looks back.

Flurple Fri 08-Jul-16 20:46:26

That's a good thing to remember.
Even though it was the hardest day to do it, I avoided giving him any looks or reciprocating today - I am proud of this.

KindDogsTail Fri 08-Jul-16 21:36:45

Yes, you should be proud.
Remember what he is offering is the last thing you need.
Can you get involved with something else you like outside work? Maybe that would distract you with shared company and warmth over some interest..

I am very sorry for this difficult time you are going through.[Flowers]

Flurple Fri 08-Jul-16 21:48:01

It is the last thing I need and having been cheated on I could never do that to another woman.
I've been thinking about getting involved in an old hobby again but I have no idea where to start with that (it's been a long time).

KindDogsTail Fri 08-Jul-16 23:26:22

i am sorry that happened.
I hope you do get involved in your old hobby.

The flowers did not work out, so here are some more flowers

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