26 and very lonely

[Highandlow]

I am 26& I am suffering with crippling loneliness. I hardly ever go out and I have only have a couple of friends I see every now and then.

As a child I was bullied and called ugly every day, people told me I was a minger and I should sort my frizzy hair out. After school things got better and boys started to like me , I was popular. I met an attractive boy , I thought 'maybe I am not ugly'.

I seem to either be unlikeable /have bad luck /make bad choices. I am close friends with someone for a while , then I have to end the friendship. For example one friend kept doing things that put me off after knowing her for years, like smoking in her child's face /wet the bed in a hotel room I paid for /insulted my looks and acne. Another failed to support me when I was assaulted at work (we worked together ). She also kept letting me down last min on nights out and insulting me in front of others .Other people at work were surprised. I was such a good friend to her and supported her every move . After I ended it , she got her friend to text me abuse .

I try my best with people, but it gets thrown in my face. I seem to attract men of the same ilk. My last ex was a drug abuser , I helped him get clean he ditched me and is happier with someone 100x prettier than me.

I am scared to put myself out there again , would counselling help me ?

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

Sorry you've had such a horrid time. I was also very lonely at your age. People think you should be 'having fun' but it's often crap for a while in your twenties.

You would absolutely benefit from counselling.

[pallasathena]

You need to learn to love yourself before you do anything else o/p. Are you a generous, kind and thoughtful soul who has a gentle personality? Very likely from the tone and content of your post. Back in the day, those qualities would've been respected, admired even because that was the way world worked.
These days, people generally speaking, are more cynical, negative, nasty and morally bereft in many cases and if you live or work in an environment where this 'type' of person tends to congregate, then you're in a constantly losing battle with them.
They don't understand you. They see kindness as weakness, decency as stupidity.
You're mixing with the wrong sort o/p which means you're attracting the chavs of this world.
Advice? Get out from your environment, find a kinder place to live, re-train so you meet a better sort of person and practise strong self esteem. Oh yes, and leave those losers behind. Permanently.