Hi everyone, sorry it's a long thread but please stick with me, I just want a rant and some opinions :)
Okay so me and my partner have been together 8 years, have two DCs. Our relationship has been difficult, to say the least. Or rather, he's very difficult.
He's very hard work. He likes things a certain way, doesn't like to be spontaneous while having his head in the clouds (like he wants to move cities with no money and complains constantly about where he lives). He's very passionate about a few things, one of them being what he does for a living. Now this is a difficult thing to explain without potentially revealing myself so I'll just say that he doesn't earn money from it. It's basically a hobby, or what most people what do as a hobby while working in a regular job. I've always worked, and I've always paid the bills. We've had a lot of arguments over it but he will never be happy in a dead end office job so I overlook this for the sake of being supportive.
One of the other things he's passionate about is politics. And he is so pushy about it. Basically if you don't share his views you're uneducated, stupid, pathetic. And he talks about it constantly. And it's embarassing. I've had to tell people to lie, or try to avoid the subject altogether unless you want your ears chewed off until you're talked into submission. And this is pretty much our relationship. If I don't agree with him, he will argue and argue and argue until I give up. He gets so angry he punches walls, and backs me (literally) into corners. This can be anything from my view on the death penalty to who's turn it is to do the dishes.
On top of this, he's controlling over money. I hold my hands up and will admit I'm not good with money at all, but there's a part of me that can't help but be indignant. I earn it, it's my money. I feel bad having this viewpoint as there are plenty of SAHM who would be offended by this, but he's not a SAHD, I do as much, if not more, childcare than him. I'm lucky that I have a fairly well paid job, which means I get to spend the majority of days at home, and he only actually had to look after the kids by himself one day a week. I do or plan most of the outings, if I see he's stressed I'll make an effort to give him space and I don't get that luxury. We're not struggling for babysitters at all thankfully so I do get breaks but I do feel like we wouldn't need babysitters so much if he would take the kids out every so often. He's happy for me to go out in the evenings, but the majority of the time I have to put the kids to bed before I can go.
There's plenty more I could write but I don't want to bore too much, I guess I'm just feeling fed up. He does have his good points, he loves the children and plays with them and helps with homework and will cook dinner and tidies the house (another area of contention, he's utterly convinced I do naff all round the house which I can assure you is not true. It's just the standards of the house are never to his very high standards and so I often get accused of being lazy)
Thanks for reading:)
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Am I in an abusive relationship?
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user1466280278 · 18/06/2016 21:27
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