Please help going out of my mind !

[Katiep87]

Me and dh haven't been getting on and I really want to end up but he keeps threatening to taking custody of our child. Since our lo was born sex has been beyond awful, I've never said no to him but he has to me many many a time, he uses porn. I now don't have sex with him, he tries it I've told him I can't feel it and it's really not for me anymore. He isn't big down there so blames himself, I just don't get any pleasure off him. I've turned into a really angry person in fact last week I punched the wall when I couldn't get something to work and broke my hand. I've started losing my temper with the kids. My first lo has problems, me and his dad have shared custody, he struggles with this and has developed a lot of problems and we see the doctor a lot. I can't do this to my other lo. The thing is I knew I shouldn't of married him, he cheated on me the week before our wedding. I blame myself but I hate him. He loves me, constantly tries to get my love and attention I just want to be alone. What can I do,? I'm really confused!

[Shakey15000]

You say you hate him and your anger issues have escalated to the point of breaking your hand. First off you need a GP appointment to discuss this issue if you haven't done so already.

[Katiep87]

I've seen GP a lot in fact see a counsellor as well, I just don't know how I got here to be so unhappy

[Shakey15000]

Well clearly it's unwise to stay with someone you hate. How are you addressing the anger?

[Katiep87]

I would never hurt anyone or anything like that I usually go into an empty room and calm down, I have been quite shouty lately though. I just can't believe I'm here I've been so stupid to be with this man!

[Oddsocksgalore]

Have you always had a bad temper?

[Katiep87]

Never, until the last few weeks and I just feel fed up and sick, dh has temper he has hit me twice

[SandyY2K]

He cheats a week before your wedding and is violent. I couldn't forgive that.

Was sex good before you had the baby?

He can pleasure you without his penis and make it enjoyable, but I can see that's not really the issue here. Getting intimate with a man you hate isn't ever going to go well.

Can I ask why you went ahead and married him after he cheated on you?

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

but he keeps threatening to taking custody of our child It isn't his choice. Besides, he has hit you, he won't get residency. Even if he were the model father, he would at best get 50:50. Does he spend an awful lot of time caring for the children now? Anything close to 50:50?

[AddToBasket]

This needs professional help. Go back to the GP, say you are desperate. Tell them everything you have said here.

It isn't clear to me whether you want to save your marriage or not, but clearly you need to save you sanity. Is the relationship the only thing that is going on right now or has something else happened?