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Relationships

Struggling with dating sites

9 replies

Unpropergrammer · 10/06/2016 20:13

Does anyone have any recommendations for dating sites? I'm a 30 year old mother of a dd4. Me and exh split a year and a half ago and I think I'm ready to get back on the horse.

However I don't feel like I fit in when it comes to dating sites. I feel like when I use the tradition pof etc. I'm too ypung and a lot of matches are with men who are at a much different life stage than me. I'm only young and I want more kids eventually.

However I feel way too old for things like tinder as they just seem full of teenagers and young adults who spend all their weekends out drinking.

Aibu to think I just don't fit in????

OP posts:

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BorisIsBack · 10/06/2016 20:16

I met DH on eharmony. I'd reccomend it. I think you can filter who gets matched to you by age and they sort out people for you based on values. Worth a try if you can get a free trial?

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Lostlou · 10/06/2016 20:50

I've tried Match.com, Fitness Singles (I'm a cyclist), Eharmony and currently on POF and Tinder.

I share your pain!!

I thought Eharmony was the worst of the three paid subscription dating sites. Despite their promises of however many matches per day I was getting around one a week and they were frankly dreadful. I actually complained about it and was told I should perhaps 'widen my criteria'. Given that I had set an age range of 10 years and a distance radius of around 50 miles and my only 'deal breaking' specification was that my match had to be a non-smoker I thought this was a bit rich! Massive waste of money.

I'm 42 and about to give up! Good luck with it x

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cinammontwist · 11/06/2016 12:24

Have you looked at tinder? There is a huge range of men on there. Don't be limited by your assumptions.

I too hated eHarmony. I got my money back after a snotty email in which I said I had no appetite for these men and would rather be single. Really awful matches.

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niceupthedance · 11/06/2016 12:27

I met my partner at 41 on tinder, he's the same age. You need to do a lot of filtering to get to the people you'd consider going on a date with. What's your age range?

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TheNaze73 · 11/06/2016 12:28

I think Tinder is a good site to use. My friends who use POF have all said that the men on there are looking at women a minimum of 5 years younger than them. No idea why? Good luck OP

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Hillbilly73 · 11/06/2016 12:44

Well don't give up - different sites suit different people. Friends say Tinder looks like a bit of a meat market? I thought eHarmony was really good when I tried it... I have 5 friends who met their husbands on there. You need to take time to think about your responses and just be totally honest with yourself. In my experience you need to find someone whose values match yours and eH can shortlist them. The best matches seem to come up when you first join. That said, you still have to filter. And of course you have to be prepared to go on lots of dates in order to meet the one. It's a numbers game.

In my experience (I'm busy!) you really have to talk to them on the phone before arranging to meet in person, if they can't sustain a conversation there then the date could be painful... I would even do a Skype video call / Google hangout these days so you can see each other too!

Even though all the weddings I've been to in the last 5-6 years have been from internet dates, I actually met my hubby (total soul mate) 4 years ago when I joined a thriving sailing club. I was officially giving up on men and just wanted a new social life and something to do on weekends and holidays... I would have tried something like that much sooner if I'd realised how much fun they can be. It was a great way to meet others in the same city with a similar outlook on life. My hubby and I had an instant attraction but got to know each other as friends first and foremost before things developed...I made him work for it ;-).

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1DAD2KIDS · 11/06/2016 17:34

Although certain sites manly suit certain demographics they all have people of all lots of differnt people at different stages of life and with different needs. So don't give up on the traditional free sites. Put in the work and you will find some potential irons.

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Lostlou · 12/06/2016 08:49

I've just gone back onto my Tinder app and strangely the majority of men I've matched with on there are younger than me (or fibbing).

I've had two requests to meet up for coffee and chat over the next week and there's a dating thread somewhere so I'll post lighthearted updates over there...