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Worried and alone

(5 Posts)
Dontknow2016 Mon 09-May-16 00:03:56

I am recently seperated....tail end of last year. Was a long time coming due to 2 affairs but I finally got things sorted and the strength from a close friend to leave.

I thought I was strong but the last few months have been so hard. I have two kids and adjusting to being a single mum to two with a full time shift job has been difficult. Thought it would be fine and just go with the flow. I was very wrong.

Still very emotional about things. Not about missing DH as I am so glad he's out the picture. Well as much as he can. He's moved on with another woman (so much for being distraught but that's another story) he's not pulling his weight kids wise and if you ask me is acting like a young free and single man with two inconvenient kids.

What I am worried about is am I ever going to meet Anyone else? I don't want any more kids. That is a definite no. But what if the next guy I meet wants kids. How could that work out?
And how do I meet someone the same age as me and tell them I have two kids. Will they not run a mile???

I feel so lost and alone. I don't really have any friends and someone who I counted as someone I could be with isn't treating me the way I deserve. I really care for him but in being used and just need the courage to cut the strings so to speak. But then I will be trully alone.....

Slowdecrease Mon 09-May-16 12:05:21

There are about 3 billion men on this earth - I left my husband when my Dd was 9 and had a long term relationship of four years after that that ended two years ago. I thought there was no way I would be lucky enough to meet anyone else suitable after one failed relationship post marriage/child - but I've been with my DP for a year and a half now , he doesn't have children and doesn't want them which is good as I'm 44 now (hes 38) , we're very happy. There's always new opportunities to meet someone lovely you just have to be in the right headspace.

2016Hopeful Mon 09-May-16 12:20:00

Yes, I agree with slowdecrease.

Also, you need to learn not to get involved with people who are not good for you. It sounds like this new relationship is not worth it. Be strong, you managed to leave a cheating husband so don't waste time with someone else who is not treating you well. I think it is better to be on your own for a bit and do what you enjoy, ie hobbies, eating what you want, watching what you want etc.

Loneliness is hard though. Can you use the time you are not working and don't have the kids to get a hobby/activity going? Maybe you could meet friends through that. Do you have family support? How about people at work, can you become more friendly with them and start arranging some nights out etc? Make sure your ex does his fair share of childcare so you have a chance to have a life too.

Slowdecrease Mon 09-May-16 12:42:10

The trouble is as I've found there is no law at all to force fathers to do their share of childcare sad so if they are useless selfish fuckwits and you are not then you're stuck.

Dontknow2016 Mon 09-May-16 19:01:44

Thanks for the replies. I have a good support with my mum however he's not pulling his fair share which I think stresses me out more than it should. The kids aren't bothered seeing him so why should I worry? Only thing is I'm not getting any time to myself. When I don't have them I'm working. And when I do go out its only when in working and therefore can't enjoy myself.

I know I have to end what I have with this guy as it isn't doing me any favours but the thought of being even more alone than I am scares me.

I have just moved job too so finding it lonely. Proper pity party here eh?

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