Friend cancelled lunch at the last minute...

[conversationdiva]

One of my friends has recently started seeing a new partner. As a result, I have hardly seen her (which is ok, I understand that this happens with new relationships.)

She texted me a few weeks ago to ask if I would like to meet up for lunch. As I hadn't seen her for a while, I agreed and booked a table for us. We were supposed to be meeting today but I received a text from her at 11.30pm last night, saying that her car MOT had expired but she could still come as her new partner could give her a lift. She then said it was out of the way for him and from the tone it seemed as if she wanted to cancel. I asked if it would be more convenient to postpone it until she had her own transport and she said yes.

So today I see from social media that she has gone for a day out with her new DP, somewhere they would have had to drive to. I can't help feeling that she hasn't been completely honest and just wanted to spend a nice sunny day out with him rather than meeting me. Feeling a bit put out about it and don't really want to rearrange the lunch. She sees this man daily, going from her social media updates and I don't really believe the MOT story as she uses her car for work and would have realised. I put off seeing another friend because she said she wanted to meet up so I'm not very happy.

What would you think about this?

[frieda909]

Do you think she might have been suggesting you invite him to join you, since he'd be driving out of his way to bring her?

It's easy for misunderstandings to happen by text and when you asked about cancelling, she may have taken that as I sign that you would rather not do that.

It's not really fair to get upset about them going out for the day after you agreed to cancel, as the issue was with her not having her own car to go somewhere without him.

[Florene]

I'm not saying confront her with any info, but here is your answer if you want to know.

www.vehicleenquiry.service.gov.uk/

[conversationdiva]

No she definitely wasn't asking if he could join.

I wouldn't say I'm upset. It just seems a bit strange that's all.

[timeforabrewnow]

She doesn't sound like a very nice friend. I wouldn't rearrange anything - I would be miffed if someone did that.

[gingerboy1912]

Sounds like she wanted to cancel tbh. I wouldn't be in a rush to rearrange if it were me.

[theclick]

So basically she made plans then realised it would be super warm today and cancelled on you.

[haveacupoftea]

She's wrapped up in her new relationship...give her a few months grace

[Scarydinosaurs]

I would guess you read that situation correctly.

Don't bother rearranging and spend more time with your proper friends.

[RaeSkywalker]

My friend did this to me recently. When I next saw her, I told her that she'd cancelled on me 3 times to spend time with her new boyfriend in the last few weeks, and that I was hurt. She's made a big effort since and I'm so glad I talked to her- I was starting to feel really resentful and was almost at the point of writing off the friendship without giving her a chance

[BackforGood]

So, after making a plan to meet for lunch a while ago, she since realised today was going to be a possibly the only hot sunny day, and was tempted by the thought of a nice day out somewhere?

It's a bit disappointing, but understandable in a new relationship - cut her some slack. A good friend would

[Mrskeats]

Not a proper friend then is she?
And not very bright or sensitive to put stuff on social media also
Concentrate on better friends
Adults don't drop their friends cos they are in a new relationship
That's supposed to end when you are about 15

[AyeAmarok]

People who cancel plans with someone in order to go out with someone else, and then post about it on Facebook, are twats IMO. And are no loss.

It's like their need to be attention seeking on FB about how wonderful their life is is more important to them than being a nice person.

[IHaveHadHOWManyUsernames]

It sounds like she was hoping the OP would ask her if she wanted to cancel in order to let herself off the hook. I think mentioning the MOT (whether genuine or not) and her new boyfriend being put out by dropping her off were her way of putting the onus on the OP to cancel, rather than her being direct and saying that she wanted to cancel herself. In any event, does she not have public transport where she lives? Her then going off on a day trip with her boyfriend is a bit rude. I wouldn't be happy with that either. As another poster said upthread, perhaps the best thing to do would be to confront her about it and see how she responds.

[Hedgehogparty]

So she lied to you in order to meet up with him instead?
Not sure I'd bother with her again, think that's pretty pathetic behaviour actually.