Things haven't been great with H for a while now, if I'm honest for years. Things get said, get swept under the carpet and we plod along.
We have been married for 11 years and together for 2 years before we got married, I was 21 when we got married and a 10year age gap!
Things changed after we got married like he had me so he didn't have to try anymore. The affection started to disappear and he started pulling away from me. Out of the blue just stopped kissing me (proper kissing)
Back in 2010-11 I was miserable and wanted out but as I had never been alone before I was scared to and being a single mum on a low wage.
2011 he had his head turned and had a affair and we separated for a few weeks. I didn't know this for a few months after (had suspected but no evidence and he wouldn't admit)
After the truth came out he tried a lot harder and our marriage was getting a lot better I was happy again.
Things started cropping up like porn DVDs recorded off in random places. This is from the guy who never watched porn. Everytime I found one he would be lovely for a few months.
Things have got pretty dyer now. He spends all his time on his xbox or the PC or watching football. Constantly, I can't get him for 5mins to help with something without being told to hurry up. This seems to rule his life.
Yesterday after a full day of watching football he suggested watching a film all together. Well me and DC were but he was on his iPad watching football.
Me and the DC are getting neglected.
No affection from him what so ever, I go to kiss him and he turns the other way. No anything. No passion in the bedroom. It's like he doesn't want to be here at all. Yet I ask him and he's happy!
He's making be miserable, I need to talk to him but he doesn't want to talk about all this again as its all in my head. Because of this I've been bottled it up since before Xmas and am now at breaking point.
I'm torn between just ending it and trying to have one last conversation and if nothing changes I want him to leave. I can't carry on like this.
I have spoken to him in the past and he promises he will change, nothing happens then I bring it up again and get told I will change in my own time!
We have tried getting out more and doing things but as soon as we get in the car the road rage shouting and swearing starts. If we walk he's constantly getting wound up and shouting at people for driving and texting. Or just walks on ahead. It's just too much hard work.
He's just wrapped up in his own little world, won't make conversation with me, never asks about me or DC. When he does talk to the DC it's always met with that's rubbish (joking but constant)
I want to give him one last chance to change but how can you make such a self obsessed person who can do no wrong change. Or listen without being in my head.
Since bottling it all up I've noticed in the last 5 months we have a lot more bad days than good.
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Relationships
marriage going down the toilet
6 replies
sunbeam123 · 08/05/2016 12:38
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