Here's the basics; As of about 3 months ago I got into a relationship with my boyfriend. He's 21 and I'm 26. We're both full time students.
When we first got together we really hit it off. However the honeymoon period seemed to fade after a month (a little disappointing but that's just how it goes!). Since then I've been feeling somewhat underwhelmed by our relationship and even insecure to the point where I'm asking myself if it's worth sticking with.
When we're apart I respect his space and he respects mine as we both have uni work to do. But we go days without speaking or if I send him a message I don't get a reply until hours later. This has perturbed me from sending him messages because I feel like I'm being a pest (my own insecurity talking no doubt!) I recently spoke to him about it and his response was that he's just laid back. He also mentioned 'if the relationship works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't' which upset me because I feel as though he isn't as serious about the relationship as I am. I'm not expecting marriage or children any time soon but it would be comforting to know that he cares about where this relationship is going.
As a side note, he can be affectionate but often lacks passion or spontaneity. When I'm with him we rarely kiss passionately unless sex is involved but I enjoy spending time together just watching a tv show or cooking a meal. The real issue is that I feel our relationship lacks that passion and this lack of passion mixed with his laid back attitude makes me question whether he's committed to the relationship or if he's just not mature enough to be in one.
I can be independent but I haven't felt insecurity like this in a long time. Am I expecting too much or is his laid back attitude too laid back? Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. I just don't want to waste my time. Thanks :)
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Relationships
Am I too codependent or is he too independent?
9 replies
Lynnealexandra · 03/05/2016 03:40
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