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Love Triangle

28 replies

MakeLoveNotWar16 · 02/05/2016 12:19

So guys, i'll cut a very long story short (well as short as i can!)

Right, a new girl started at my work place some 18 months back and she straight away got a lot of attention from all the guys because she's a very pretty girl. Anyways we all soon found out that she was in a long term relationship so interest in her dropped a fair bit although being e a chatty guy that i am, i made sure she was welcome and often chatted to her in the kitchen so she didn't feel left out.

So roll on a few months and a lot of the work crew went on a night out (me and said lady were in attendance) and we got talking about her relationship, my failed relationships (i'm single by the way) and my daughter etc. At this point i could tell that she had some sort of interest in me from the general questions she was asking me. She also told me that her relationship wasn't going too well as it was kind of stuck in a rut and not really going anywhere which i surprised she was telling me all this considering she didn't really know me that well.

So, roll on a another few months and i heard that she broke up with her BF to which i could've seen coming after the chat we had. After a few weeks i thought i'd be cheeky and ask her out for a drink and although she seemed surprised about me asking her out, she agreed! Then about a week went by and i got her message from her saying that she didn't think the drink was a good idea as she had got back with her BF. Obviously i wasn't overly happy but at least she was being honest and upfront about it and it was genuinely true as they had got back together.

So for the next few weeks we didn't really speak much to which was more down to me as i felt as if my pride was a little dented, even though what she had one was the right thing. She noticed this and was in a way pretty sorry for getting my hopes up and then bringing them crashing down. I also didn't realise at this point that she actually really liked me.

So another month or 2 later, we had another work night out at this point we had been talking a lot more and flirting a fair bit. Then on the night we got really drunk and ended up kissing each other.....in front of all the work people...whilst she still had a BF. As you can imagine we were the hot topic for the following week at work to which really didn't look well on us in all honesty, especially for her who was in a relationship.

Then for the following few months things started to get even more heated between us. Although nothing happened physically we messaged each other practically every day and the flirting got more and more intense. In all honesty my feelings for her at this point were not that strong, i fancied her yes but at that point that's all it was.

Then came the Summer works party.

She had been away on holiday with her BF and i had been off work leading up to the summer party due to illness so we hadn't seen each other for weeks although as soon as she was home from holiday she messaged me right away.
Now at the party, we barely spoke all night and kept our distance from each other because people were bound to be watching us. After the party everyone jumped in cabs to a local nightclub and we got in the same cab together. I still wasn't feeling 100% so i said i was going back to the hotel after droppping off the other work guys to the night club....except she stayed in the cab with me. I can't remember the excuse she used but i could tell she wanted to stay with me rather than go off with the other guys.

Now i won't go into detail what happened but as soon as we got to the hotel things got hot pretty quickly and we spent the night together....and it happened again the following morning when we had sobered up. At this point, naturally my feelings for her were starting to be more than just physical. Again we were the talk of work as it was rather obvious what had happened both us not exactly being held in good regard due to her having a BF and rightly so.

So over the next 6 months things got more and more deep, we met on a number of occasions, she stayed over mine and we had very serious feelings for each other but....she wasn't willing to finish it with her BF. Now i must say i never asked her to leave him, i always felt that it was down to her to realise that she shouldn't be with him to which to this day she still hasn't come to that decision.

Our last time together was 3/4 weeks back....the day she told me that she was buying a property with her BF. A few hours after she had told me this were in a hotel room together. Since then she tried to end our 'fling' to which i could only accept and agree with her. Then the following week after she had 'ended it' she was still messaging me and drunk calling me in the early hours to which at this point i told her to stop it. I actually told her to make it work with her BF (through gritted teeth i must admit) and that she needs to learn herself that her relationship with her BF wasn't right and maybe should've ended some time ago.

So as it stands with haven't spoken in nearly 2 weeks, i'm purposely blanking her in work to which is really tough but i'm trying to be cruel to be kind. I can see that she's struggling with it all, i often catch her staring at me or looking into my office when she walks past it etc.

I must admit what i've done is pretty terrible, i do genuinely feel guilty but on the other hand my feeling for this girl are so strong that she's constantly on my mind every hour of the day....to the point where i actually get head aches from it all.

Now like i said the guilt is eating me up massively to the point where i'm thinking that maybe her BF she be told. If i was in his situation and i was about to buy a property with my partner, i would want to know that she'd been playing away for the past 15 months.

Like i say this is the short version, there's lots of other deep stuff i could talk about which had happened between us but this post is long enough.

Long and short, should her BF know about us? Maybe not from me (i mean by knocking on his door) but maybe anonymously or do you think i should leave it be and keep well away from her and her relationship.

I do expect some abuse from this though so please don't hold back as it's well deserved.

Thanks for reading.

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offside · 02/05/2016 12:34

What are your motives for telling him? Are you hoping it will end their relationship and she'll come running into your arms? You're a bit too far gone to take the moral high ground in this situation.