Dumped by text...

[MrHeartache]

Hi

New user here, I was wondering if MN users had any thoughts on the following...

I thought I had met the woman of my dreams. We saw each other every week and just had the BEST time. I was SO happy. Last weekend, I went away to see old friends and family. (at her suggestion) Out of the blue, while i was with my parents) I got a text picking a fight, then a text finshing with me.

I am in despair. This was after a six month relationship and without warning or any chance to discuss what went wrong. I had booked and paid for a holiday and the previous week she had bought me an expensive ring. We spoke every night but no warning.

I get that things weren't working out for her (but never knew or told why -everything seemed great). But being dumped BY TEXT by someone who meant everything to me and who I had shown nothing but love and kindness to seems very harsh..

What do you think?

[DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings]

What did she pick a fight about by text message before saying it's over? Could it have been heat of the moment in the fight? When was it? Have you contacted her since?

I think face to face is the best way to have relationship discussions, arguments or break ups but many people think all those things are fine done by text.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

It's not just harsh, it's cowardly. If the relationship wasn't working she should have opened up a discussion with you about it and given you the opportunity to address any issues. That's what a mature and reasonable person would do. She is patently neither of those things.

I suspect she's met someone else and has been seeing them for a while.

I also suspect long term you'll be better off out of this relationship than still in it. She's behaved like an arse.

[TheNaze73]

It's a sad reflection of dating in 2016. I got an earfull from an ex for binning her off in person. I think op, however hard it is now, you'll be better for being out of this

[ILikeUranus]

Seems you were not very good at communicating with each other. You thought everything was great, and she was already at dumping stage. Also you assume she was 'picking a fight' by text. That's a bit of a weird thing to say - why do you dismiss the possibility she was just saying something she thought, what made you think 'she's picking a fight'?
Dumped by text is a bit crap, but it had only been 6 months and clearly things were not as great in her mind as they were in yours. Hope things go better with someone more compatible in the future.

[Joysmum]

Plenty of people on here post that this is perfectly acceptable to dump by text, it's a kindness even because it saves the dumpee having an embarrassing conversation!

I disagree. I think it's disrespectful.

[MrHeartache]

Thanks for replies... Thanks to BOAST..that's almost exactly how i am feeling today.

There is more but i can't be arsed typing it...

Want to die right now tbh.

[ElllieB1]

Cowardly move, I was dumped by whatsapp. I suggest you go no contact, she obviously isn't mature enough to discuss it properly with you. It's horrible but you will be ok x

[ILikeUranus]

If the relationship wasn't working she should have opened up a discussion with you about it and given you the opportunity to address any issues.
^I disagree. In a job, as an employee, yes, you should be given an opportunity to improve etc. This is a romantic relationship. If she doesn't want to continue it for any reason, there is absolutely no obligation on her to do so. And in fact the right thing to do, if there is no wish on her part to continue things is to let you know ASAP that's the case so you can both move on, which she has done.

[ILikeUranus]

Want to die right now tbh
OP, are you being treated for depression or similar (anxiety)? This is a very extreme reaction to the end of a six month relationship. Yes it hurts, but actual suicidal thoughts? You need to speak to a GP. Depression and mood disorders are very treatable. Please take care of yourself and see your doctor ASAP.

[NickiFury]

Oh it's shit, it really is. I've been dumped by text and it sucked. That said, with hindsight, would it have been easier to take if I had got all dressed up and excited to see him only to be dumped over dinner? Probably not. I think is probably just feeling terribly low and doesn't actually want to die - hope so anyway.