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Cut off by parents and sister as I had a nervous breakdown

(8 Posts)
LunaElla Mon 11-Apr-16 11:43:51

My sister has always been favoured by my parents and growing up they were a 'team' and would often exclude me or gang up on me.

I have suffered with depression since about the age of 12, including post natal depression 3 times.

About 3 years ago I had a breakdown, and ended up being very unwell indeed. I am a lot better now and am as recovered as I can be after something like that.

However as a result of my breakdown my parents and sister cut me off and now won't have anything to do with me. I still see my nan and they have now cut her off too as she sees me, and my mum sent me a horrible text message saying they have had no choice but to cut off my nan and that it is all my fault!!

They have had other times in the past too of cutting me off, whenever they've imagined that I've done something to offend them. Once they didn't speak to me or DH for two years as I apparently wasn't quick enough to make my dad a cup of tea when they visited!

It is hurtful that they have cut me off but also it's done me a favour as it's made me adamant that if they can cut off their unwell child/sister and not offer any support or help then they are evil and don't deserve me in their life.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

gamerchick Mon 11-Apr-16 11:48:06

They've done you a favour I think, they are probably the reason for a lot of your illness.

Block all if them as much as you can and when they decide they want their underdog back to abuse some more you do the cutting off.

SmokyJoJo Mon 11-Apr-16 11:55:50

Hi OP
How are you doing?
They sound like very nasty people who don't deserve you.
Sounds like you other supportive, kind people around you though, so focus on the good & try to forget about the others.
thanks

redexpat Mon 11-Apr-16 12:11:15

They sound dreadful. No experience to add. I wonder if they're the sort who simply don't believe that depression exists - thT you're lazy, should pull yourself together.

LobsterQuadrille Mon 11-Apr-16 12:25:43

Yes, mine cut me off when ex H left when I was pregnant. They didn't want a single parent in the family. Then I was back in favour after my sister''s partner committed suicide (the shame of it), then I was back out due to depression and a drink problem. Is it do do with appearances being everything?

I feel your pain. Families can be so tough at the times you need them most.

PrudenceTheProcrastinator Mon 11-Apr-16 13:13:01

My whole family cut me off after I sought therapy for panic attacks. My childhood abuse and place in the family as the 'scapegoat' become apparent due to the way I referred to myself to my therapist. She actually asked me why I had anything to do with my family and I defended them!

My anxiety disorder was triggered by the death of my 2nd child shortly after she was born but naturally I minimised it and sub consciously decided that I deserved it/it was my fault due to my childhood conditioning.

I decided to 'confront' my mother as she had started her mind games with my twin sons (favouritism/name calling). She went nuts and told every one I had a breakdown and they were not to contact me until she thought I was 'ready'.

When I refused to back down she told my sibs that I was blaming her for my life being a mess - we had had to sell our house at that time due to me not being able to work due to my anxiety. Sibs were furious at me for causing our mother 'upset' and I have not heard from them for 3 years now.

I am still waiting for the 'you're better off without them' to hit. It is a struggle to cope with Xmas and DCs Bdays when we have no other family to take an interest in them.

flowers to you OP. It takes a special kind of c**t to do that to their DC, adult or not.

SiencynArsecandle Mon 11-Apr-16 13:34:00

flowers
DH's family have all disowned him after he was diagnosed first with Bipolar, then with BPD. S and family have disowned her sister in law for having schizophrenia.
The world is full of uncaring, thoughtless cunts unfortunately. I hope you can move on and away from them, DH can't and still runs to them constantly ignoring us who have given him everything for over 25 years. All it does is hold him back from any chance of a better life.

greenleaf1 Mon 11-Apr-16 14:32:07

Yep - my parents cut me off in the middle of my cancer treatment a couple of years ago. They said they were just protecting themselves from me and my unreasonable behaviour. I remember trying myself in knots trying to work out what on earth I'd done wrong - which was precisely nothing.

OP they've done you a perverse kind of favour - you can now see clearly the kind of people your parents and sister are. As you say, you deserve so much better flowers.

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