Sorry for the long thread but I want to give some background.
My dad died when I was 12. I'm 30 now. He had two kids from a previous relationship who are about 15 years older than me. My dad's family (sisters) had always been quite horrible to my mum apparently and I knew from very young that my mum didn't like them. His other kids (so my two half sisters) and my mum didn't particularly get on, they were civil but my mum kept out because they had their own mum/family etc.
Straight after my dad died my dad's sisters and kids were sporadically in touch with my mum but it all tailed off after a few months and I haven't seen or spoke to any of my dad's family in 17/18 years.
Last week I got an email (my email address is online because of work) from one of my half sisters husbands basically asking if I was 'the' Jane Smith - not my real name. Basically it asked if I was from Derby (not my real birth place), if my dad was called Trevor (not my dad's real name) and a couple of other things to ascertain if I was that person. There was no real pleasantries or hint at why he was emailing.
I don't know whether or how to reply. On the one hand, I'm curious as to why he's in touch. But, on the other hand, I'm concerned about what suddenly prompted the contact and whether there's a risk I'll be dragged into something I don't want to be a part of- DH said 'what if someone wants a kidney?'. I don't particularly feel any need or desire to be in touch with my dad's family but it feels 'icky' to just ignore the email.
What would you do if this happened to you?
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WWYD- sudden contact from estranged family?
PaxoStuffing · 07/04/2016 12:28
If it is a husband then he is probably trying not to sound all 'family' and huggy, in case that scres you off too. Or he thinks is is pm'ing you on facebook 
There probably isn't one good way of making that sort of contact.
What you have to decide, Paxo, is do you want to make any kind of contact? Do you care at all why they are trying to contact you? If yes then a neutral response would be good: Hello! That could indeed be me! Why are you trying to contact Jane Smith wholived in the High Street, had a dad called Trevor, etc?
If not then don't answer or be brusque. Please cease trying to contact me.
I'm wondering if he hasn't been too friendly initially in case you're not you - well obviously you are you 
, but in case he'd reached a different Jane Smith and didn't want to be all friendly in case it was the wrong Jane Smith.
And if that is the case - then I can understand it. I'd reply, cautiously, and judge on the second message when he knows that he is talking to the right person. If they want to take it further you can still stay remote and distant and polite - if they ask you to visit say, you can just say thank you, but it's not a good time at the moment and I'm still getting my head around this, so I'll be in contact in the future when things have changed...
Also if it is bad news, he might not want to be all jolly and chatty if he then has to break bad news if you see what I mean. Have you googled their names to see if anything untoward comes up?
I would feel put off by the husband's contact on behalf of the half sister. This sort of triangulation just irritates me as a manipulation. On top of that, it is a little creepy to be told that people are stalking you on line and then be contacted even if it is family (perhaps especially if it is family).
On the other hand, that may be swamped by the curiosity of why, why now? (It would certainly make a good journal entry. 
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