I've got a 14 year old daughter. Her father and I divorced 5 years ago and he doesn't do any real parenting, sees her once every 4 to 6 weeks (he lives 3 hours away and my parents live a couple of hours away too, so she is mainly with me). Although I have dated, I have been careful not to introduce her to anyone until I knew it was going somewhere. I started seeing a lovely man 9 months ago and everything is going so well but my daughter did not take to me having a boyfriend well at all and in the beginning would cry when he came over and was quite rude, would send me texts asking when he was leaving and on one painful occasion when we took her out to dinner she just sat there looking away from us and wouldn't eat or drink. She has mellowed somewhat, he has been extremely good about it all and makes an effort and she is fine in with him coming over now but only speak to him really if she has a friend there but I am concerned about her lack of interaction and wanting to keep very much to herself. I'm very mindful of her feelings and finding this very tough and wonder if anyone else has had to deal with this?
She did visit her Dad over a number of years who lived with his new Partner and her 2 children (they have since split up) and had no problems doing things with them but just will not relent on doing things with my boyfriend.
I love my daughter very much and don't want her to feel pushed out but I also don't want her to boss me about as to when he can and can't come over which is what I'm feeling at the moment. She makes me feel very guilty about wanting to spend time with him. And I do make time just for just her and I. I have tried talking to her about it but she is quite adamant she doesn't want to interact. He has 2 children who have been very easy about everything, one is a teenager also. I'm just wondering how I can make things easier and how we can all do things together. At the moment he comes over and she stays in her room. We went to visit his family last weekend and she did not want to come and arranged a sleepover but I don't want her not to be included. I really am quite upset about the whole thing. I know it takes time and I'm trying to be patient. Anyone else had similar experience or can offer an advice in making things easier for her?
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Relationships
Looking for a bit of advice - only child and new relationship
5 replies
Hazelde · 04/04/2016 16:10
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