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I really like him but I'm scared of getting hurt

(22 Posts)
wellwouldyouorno Thu 31-Mar-16 17:17:35

I've been casually seeing a guy for a couple of weeks I know its early days but I really like him. Then he dropped a bombshell that his ex was pregnant. Now he wants us to get together. Is it just too messy? I really like him.

HotNatured Thu 31-Mar-16 17:21:30

Why would you do that to yourself? You've known the guy two weeks.

DixieNormas Thu 31-Mar-16 17:25:57

way to messy! run, run away now

Pinkheart5915 Thu 31-Mar-16 17:29:17

You've only known him two weeks and it does sound messy. I personally wouldn't get involved

nomorechocolate2016 Thu 31-Mar-16 17:31:36

I would be wondering if she really is an ex.

TheNaze73 Thu 31-Mar-16 17:35:40

A couple of weeks is no time at all. Being interesting to see why his ex is an ex (if indeed she is an ex) I agree there with nomorechocate & would be suspicious. He may have known about the pregnancy & bailed or he may be a genuinely nice guy, who was in the wrong relationship. Just think about the birth, his role in all that & whether you would be prepared to make the huge sacrifices to your relationship. Personally, I'd get out now but, each to their own

wellwouldyouorno Thu 31-Mar-16 17:37:09

She is an ex, at first he said he wanted to do the right thing but now they've split properly and I know i am the one he wants to be with.

HotNatured Thu 31-Mar-16 17:55:43

You know you are the one he wants to be with ? Eh ?

At the risk of sounding like a dog w a bone, you've known him two weeks, how on earth do you 'know' what he wants ? ! You know nothing about him !

hownottofuckup Thu 31-Mar-16 17:57:43

I'd be suspicious of anyone wanting to start a new relationship with a baby on the way tbh.
Given the circs, you sound like perfect rebound material.
Let this one go.

Duckdeamon Thu 31-Mar-16 18:00:01

So you're the OW.

Robotgirl Thu 31-Mar-16 18:00:13

Leave well alone, love.
Do you know they are definitely totally over?

PushingThru Thu 31-Mar-16 18:00:50

Hills are that way ---->

TheNaze73 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:02:04

There is no way in the world he could possibly know that after 2 weeks.

Owllady Thu 31-Mar-16 18:02:48

I agree. Time to start the couch to 5k

nomorechocolate2016 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:02:59

You know you're the one he wants to be with? How could anyone know that after two weeks?

Muddlewitch Thu 31-Mar-16 18:16:11

His focus should be on his baby not his love life, how did you meet him?

I am another saying walk away now, and save yourself the heartache.

DixieNormas Thu 31-Mar-16 18:26:06

couch to 5k grin

he should spend some time alone supporting his pg ex. Wtf is wrong with some men

goddessofsmallthings Thu 31-Mar-16 18:32:17

now they've split properly and I know i am the one he wants to be with

How do you know this? And do you know that you're not the one "he wants to be with" for now and you'll do until he meets another emotionally needy sucker or goes back to his ex?

You say you've been "casually" seeing him for a couple of weeks. Does this mean you haven't had sex with him?

RaRaRamona Thu 31-Mar-16 19:06:28

As already said, he should be concentrating on his baby , not a new romance. It's sounds messy. Try talking to his ex about it ,perhaps???

clashofclanswidow Thu 31-Mar-16 19:37:25

Too messy.

If he likes you enough and he is not wanting to get back with the ex/mother, then he won't...even when baby is born.

So just wait until then. If you're worth it to him, he'll wait for you too.

If he goes back to his ex, be pleased for them they have the chance to be a family again. If he comes to you with a clear head when baby is born, proceed. If he gets with someone else, then he was just looking for a replacement/rebound.

He might be really nice but the fact he didn't come clean, straight away, about his situation is a bit shameful in my opinion. It's not a small thing like an embarassing habit, it's a baby...

workedoutforthebest Thu 31-Mar-16 19:57:52

What others have said.

You do not know what he wants. Why not 'cool things of' for, say, six months & then see what he wants?!

Fraggleyourock Thu 31-Mar-16 21:33:36

I'm a bit confused by "now they've properly split"
Had they not properly split when you started seeing him? Either way, I think if you stay with him you're probably setting yourself up for a fail... Having a baby does huge things to people, emotionally, and he may well end up back with his ex. Especially if he is going to do the decent things- go to appointments/scans/be at the birth. You're better off leaving now, before you get too emotionally invested thanks

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