I've namechanged in case someone recognises me.
So background, when I was a teenager I met ex and at the time I thought he really loved me as he used to want to know where I was all the time and would get upset and angry if I didn't spend all my time with him. I now realise that he was very controlling.
Anyway I became pregnant. My family were not happy and they made me move in with him. He became abusive verbally and physically even after I had DD.
I left him when DD was still a baby as he threatened to hurt her and I couldn't have that. He wanted no contact and kicked off saying she wasn't his anyway and I decided it was best to have nothing to do with him.
Then I met my DH and we married. Ex came back on the scene shortly after saying he wanted to try again and he had a new girlfriend and a house and he said he was different. He got the courts involved
So he started to have DD every other weekend but after a few months he stopped coming so often and he would cancel at the last minute. DD started to get very upset and unsettled. I asked him over text if we could change the arrangement so he would turn up on the days that he said he would come as DD was getting upset.
He came to the house and tried to hit me and DH had to pull him off. All this while DD was in the room. Police had to be called and all contact was stopped. We didn't hear from ex again for years.
So DD started calling DH dad. We had two other DCs. Then DH passed away over a year ago.
Ex got back in touch at first over Facebook just to offer condolences. I asked him how he was and he has a wife and two young DCs with her now. We messaged each other a little back and he asked to see DD.
She wanted to get to know him so they emailed for a while. Then I went with her to meet up with him at a local cafe. We then met up a couple more times with his family.
But then he started emailing DD more and more asking her to meet with him alone. She doesn't feel comfortable with this yet , she still doesn't really know him and she wants to get to know him more before they meet alone.
In his last email he told her that she was just making a fuss now and he was her dad so she shouldn't feel uncomfortable with him.
I want to email him and tell him to stop pushing DD and upsetting her and she will do it when she is ready. But it's possible he might take it the wrong way again.
I'm not sure what to do but it can't really carry on like this so I'm hoping you can help me decide what to do.
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Relationships
Ex upsetting DD (13)
4 replies
JustincaseNC · 20/03/2016 21:02
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