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(14 Posts)
Chirstmascake1 Sun 20-Mar-16 11:09:30

Match or plenty of fish - any recommendations?

EasilyDistracted21 Sun 20-Mar-16 11:25:16

POF isnt too bad, my best friend met her current boyfriend on there and she seems happy Im less convinced aha I had a bad experience with things like eharmony because they were so limited

ohforfoxsake Sun 20-Mar-16 13:39:44

I quite liked OKCupid but guardian Soulmates worked for me. Good luck!

MadeMan Sun 20-Mar-16 13:50:52

Match wasn't very good when I used their online service a few years ago, it just seemed like a portrait gallery with nothing much happening.

Minime85 Sun 20-Mar-16 13:52:51

Plenty of fish

Chirstmascake1 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:55:59

Any success stories?

ComtesseDeSpair Sun 20-Mar-16 17:25:33

POF is my preference - I found Match to be really quiet, even though I'm in London. I've just started dabbling my toes back in the POF pool after my last relationship ended last summer.

I met long-term now Ex-DP on POF - we were together for six years, he's a good guy and we're still close friends. Before meeting him I had three shorter relationships, also from POF and all three were perfectly decent, good men who I am glad I met and dated, it just became apparent after a few months that we weren't going to go the distance. Of all the other men I've met from OLD (some just for one date; others for a handful) only one was bad. The rest were perfectly agreeable and interesting and it was no skin off my back to share a drink or a meal or a cup of coffee with them.

I think you do need to be quite ruthlessly picky at first whilst online: don't bother responding to winks or lazy ("Hi there x", "What's up?") spam / fishing messages which are clearly being sent to multiple recipients; that sounds callous but if somebody is genuinely interested they'll take the time to read your profile and send a couple of sentences relevant to you. That way you rule out potentially meeting up with men who are just trawling for booty. On the other hand, don't be so picky once you start exchanging messages that you rule men out because they don't seem instantly perfect. Meet reasonably quickly - no more than a fortnight between initial message and first meet-up and preferably less. You should be able to tell from the first couple of messages if somebody really isn't your type or might be a possibility and worth meeting with to check out real-life chemistry and compatibility. Don't spend weeks playing message badminton, building up an illusion of the other person that, when you eventually meet, they probably won't live up to. You don't need to know somebody's life history and worldly dreams to meet them for a drink and a chat.

ohforfoxsake Sun 20-Mar-16 19:09:29

Good advice from the Countess. Join the dating thread on here for support and advice. I liked GSM because there isn't a huge volume of people (unless you are in London) so fewer dickheads. I know a few couples who met on GSM, some the old fashioned way when you had to call and leave a message.

isseywithcats Sun 20-Mar-16 19:17:29

POF i went on match even paid for the messaging service didnt get one single message let alone a date just loads of winks, POF i met some lovely guys just not the right one till i messaged someone i liked the look of we have now been together two years and moved in together 12 months ago

Trills Sun 20-Mar-16 19:18:02

OK Cupid and Tinder here, with a bit of Bumble (but Bumble is newish and I suspect does not have many people unless you are in a large city).

Dating thread if you are interested

Bapaloona Sun 20-Mar-16 19:43:04

I used Match & had loads of messages & dates. Met my current bf there. Lots of fun to be had but as others have said, meet quickly for coffee only & take it from there. Give out no personal details until you're sure of them. Prepare to turn a lot of stones.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sun 20-Mar-16 19:56:12

There are good and bad on every site so IMO not worth paying to find them, and as it's a numbers game go for the busiest such as POF (where incidentally I found my lovely BF). I totally agree with Comtesse's suggestions too.

niceupthedance Mon 21-Mar-16 07:41:46

I used Okcupid and tinder and met my fantastic boyfriend on the latter. My tip is don't get overly invested after a couple of good dates and be prepared for a lot of ghosting and shit behaviour.

cleowasmycat Fri 25-Mar-16 20:13:12

Is it normal for a guy to be really keen immediately or is that a massive red flag? Or am I over thinking it?

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