1st timer so forgive the lack of knowledge about etiquette.
Problem is this. I am self employed work ft and earn excellent money, husband stays at home. We have 2 daughters 20 & 13 yo. He does school run and cooks dinner, but that's about it, the rest of the day he just watches tv. If I'm home he stays in bed for a lie in (!) and I do the school run (which I quite like actually) and everything else. We have cleaners once a week to do a big clean and me and the girls keep on top of it other than that. So you get the picture he's basically a lazy bast@rd. He's miserable and mean. The bit I wanted advice about is this, I pay all the bills, everything. He has some income from a property he owns so I don't physically give him any cash but he does not contribute financially at all. He agreed that I could have £500 a month for myself (from my own income!!) but this is eaten up quickly each month as I give the kids money, buy food at weekends and work in the city so stuff just costs more. I don't know why I am trying to justify this. I have a limited company which I invoice my clients from and the money gets paid into, and when I pay myself each month it goes into our joint account (which I am not allowed to use without being told off) and I withdraw £500 into my personal account. The business acct is in both of our names (foolish on reflection) so when I run out of cash I sometimes take funds (as 'director drawings' if you know the legalities of this stuff). I never told him I did this before. Anyway he's gone ballistic today because he asked how much money was in the business account and I told him and he said that seemed a bit low, so I told him I'd been taking extra sometimes (I've checked and it's on average about an extra £300 a month). He blew his top and has shouted at me calling me a liar and a thief and saying I am stealing from the family. I argued this was all my money anyway and that made him worse. Complicated by the fact that we own a house that my parents rent from us but is in his name (to be tax efficient - another error) he is now threatening to sell the house to "get back the money I have stolen". Tbh our marriage is shit and I'm really unhappy I put up with loads of crap because it's easy. I'm out of the house a lot working so don't have to deal with it. But this latest issue has just shaken me into reality - wtf am I doing with this loser. I don't know what I want people to say really, I just want to know what you all think. And perhaps a kick up the Arse for being such an idiot. I can't talk to anyone because people don't see this side of me, I'm living a double life and it's bloody miserable. Thanks for any comments.