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DP left 2 months ago - I haven't told my parents.

4 replies

MissTessmacher · 10/03/2016 10:24

Arrggghh!

My Dad will be fine, concerned, supportive and helpful.

My mum though, she will be straight up angry. She will refuse to believe that we're all ok (we're all, ex DP included, infinitely happier). She will get on my back about money and will try to guilt trip me about the DC being from a "broken home" .

I actually think it's partly projection. She and my dad should have divorced years ago and I think she is almost envious of people doing what she didn't.

Also, my sister and her DH split briefly last year after he cheated and I was astounded at my parents reaction. Lots of crying and obsessing and convincing my sister to take him back "for the kids".

I need to tell them but it's so hard knowing how my mother will react.

Eurgh. I'm 35 and I'm acting like 12 year old me when I broke something of my mother's and tried to hide it rather than tell her.

OP posts:

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MatildaTheCat · 10/03/2016 11:41

Maybe an email? Make it a positive one with an outline of how things are worked out re childcare etc. Finish with something like,' of course this will be a shock for you and we appreciate you will be concerned. However we are fully agreed this is for the best and hope you will respect this.'

Good luck.

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lubeybooby · 10/03/2016 11:53

Stick a load of post it notes around you where you can see them at that say things you might want to repeat as a bit of a mantra 'I'm fine' 'we're fine' 'the kids are fine' 'it's all gone really well' ' we are putting the children first and I assure you they are fine' 'this is better than them suffering a tense atmosphere, they are much happier' and also reminders to yourself

'she's being silly' I am an adult and have dealt with this very well' 'keep clam you knew she would react this' 'you've got this' 'deep breath'

or whatever you might want to say, think, remind yourself of etc

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Mamaka · 10/03/2016 12:11

Omg my mum is exactly like yours!!! I asked my h to leave a week ago and couldn't bear to tell her. I did tell my sister and she told our mum as I knew I was going to need childcare and financial support etc so couldn't keep it to myself completely. I've ignored all calls since then as I can't bear to hear how it will affect her/the dc/anyone and everyone except me. I also think she envies people who do what she wishes she could do.