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Is an abusive cheater capable of finding real friendship

(6 Posts)
allofyou Mon 07-Mar-16 17:55:21

Just very interested to know your opinion

My ex abuser was friends with the whole world but never confinded himself in anyone but me aka me being his emotional punch bag.
His best friend recently knew he was abusive and cheated and he claimed that he wants to help him out. Apart from him I didn't tell anyone else his history and his true self.

Is abusive cheater capable of finding real friends? Im guessing the answer would be no. If he can be abusive towards women I don't believe he is capable of treating men or other people any better.

Chrysanthemum5 Mon 07-Mar-16 17:58:29

My abusive father was everyone's friend he would do anything for his friends and people genuinely loved him. He was what my mother called a fireside devil - he only showed his true nature to his family.

WallyBantersJunkBox Mon 07-Mar-16 20:34:44

Both my father and my ex were the same. Everybody's friend. Would go out of their way to do favours usually with my ex at my expense - for example I came home once to find he'd given a Bugaboo pushchair Tia friend for free, when I clearly told him I was planning to clean it up and sell it!

Of course the situation then meant either look stingy and small or let it go.

But when we split in amazed at the people who were his friends (he told me they preferred him to me) actually came forward with their support as there was something about him they just couldn't put their finger on.....

allofyou Mon 07-Mar-16 23:04:52

By real friends I mean friends who will stay with you even after knowing the sh** you've done (to people). I don't think abusers are capable of finding real friends as they will always put on a facade when faced with the outer world. Being popular among people doesn't mean you have real friends tho. How can one be real friends with other people if they can't even be themselves in front of them?

summerainbow Tue 08-Mar-16 06:17:11

Every one has freinds or people they hang out with

Chrysanthemum5 Tue 08-Mar-16 16:12:16

My dads friends all stayed friends with him even after we all left due to the violence- they all knew he was violent, but it seemed socially acceptable to them. Far worse was our behaviour in making a fuss about it!

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