Time Out

[littlerunaway]

I've been married for 13 years and together for 16. Two dc one of whom is dh's stepchild they don't really get along and he'll be off to university soon anyway. Dc2 is going into secondary school in September.

I don't wish to get divorced or legally separate. I have no emotional needs and we're together for companionship really. Dh has anxiety and is difficult to live with. He gets on my nerves and won't see the doctor for any treatment. Daily life consists of the usual walking on eggshells thing and I'm sick of it. He's not abusive, just pathetic and annoying. He pretends to be ill and feels sorry for himself most of the time. He has no threshold for stress and is avoidant. It's like having a third child I suppose. We're just kind of sharing the living space but work as a team if needs be. Superficially we get along but there's very little emotional connection. I have asc and he has traits as well.

What I would really like is to have some time out by myself. I have been thinking about buying a campervan and just hitting the road. It's just a dream really. I don't know if it would be feasible. I could still earn money to support myself. I don't want to live in separate houses as it would be expensive and I have my two cats who need to be cared for. I'd have to be there on a regular basis for dc2 as well.

I would love to just be myself and try to find some independence. Would this be wrong, selfish or impossible to achieve?

[Joysmum]

That's my dream too...but not whilst I have a dependent child. It's your marriage that is the problem, not your DC

[littlerunaway]

I know the marriage is the problem. I can't leave whilst dc1 is here though. I wouldn't leave them alone together.

[LilaTheTiger]

Oh god, just leave. You say you have no emotional needs? I did believe that for a second, you aren't a robot. You're needs haven't been met for so long you've forgotten what they are is more likely.

A camper van sounds nice, but imagine a home of your own that you can just relax in. And you don't need to fund two houses, just yours. I can imagine your DC would be rather relieved.

Your partner has been incredibly selfish in refusing to seek help and relying entirely on you, that is too much to ask. So you don't have to feel bad about being selfish in return.

[LilaTheTiger]

*don't believe

[littlerunaway]

I feel like a robot.

[Joysmum]

If you were a robot, you wouldn't want to get away now.