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Just cataloguing behaviour

(7 Posts)
EasyToEatTiger Fri 04-Mar-16 19:51:23

My husband had an explosion this morning and shouted at me. I was quite frightened. I went out for the day and when I came home, I said to him that I wanted to say something to him without fear or retribution. I told him that I had been afraid when he blew off at me and that it was horrible because there was nothing I could have done or changed. He minimised it and said he was just being normal and everyone gets angry sometimes. No they don't. Not like that. He was effing and blinding because I had left something in 'his' car. He had not asked me to get it out. He simply shouted abuse. It was awful. This is his normal. I feel sorry for him. This is not normal behaviour.

MoominPie22 Fri 04-Mar-16 20:14:59

Why would you feel sorry for him if he frightened you and behaved aggressively? Has he done this before?

Marchate Fri 04-Mar-16 20:23:01

One thing I would advise, while you come to terms with the fact you have to leave him - don't tell him he frightens you. A normal person would be ashamed. To an abuser that's a victory

Phone Women's Aid

EasyToEatTiger Fri 04-Mar-16 20:47:29

The diffficulty in getting through. I have just left a message. There were issues when we first met more than 20 years ago and we have been to every kind of marriage councellor there is. I have been left carrying the can and maybe it's being menopausal.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 04-Mar-16 21:16:19

Have you checked to find your nearest Women's Aid service or have you been trying to call the national helpline which is frequently subscribed?

Marchate Fri 04-Mar-16 21:25:05

Marriage counselling was probably a failure? They notoriously miss signs of abuse, and the victim is left feeling worse than they did originally

Women's Aid will help you through this. I expect Friday nights are busy

EasyToEatTiger Fri 04-Mar-16 22:07:22

They called back but wouldn't talk because my husband is in the same building. It's logged and when the CAMH psychiatrist gets back in touch I have some sort of log. Thank you all for your support. It's not easy. I feel sorry for my husband being nearly 70 and all this coming to light.

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