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Shoot the messenger... WWYD?

(36 Posts)
Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:06:42

At the beginning of DC starting primary school a mum from the class had an affair with another dad in the class. The married couple broke up and the couple got together and have been together ever since.
There is a lot of bitterness from the ex partner and everyone knows in the playground.
Fast forward 6 or so years the couple that got together following the affair have decided to get married and are planning a wedding. The bride to be is obviously excited and you can see the excitement and plans on FB with tags at venues etc.
My friend is close to the ex wife and she has shown text messages from the ex husband (I hope you're all following who is who - feel like a flow chart is needed!) that are at best flirty, at worst the beginning of something more. Ex wife has said she will take revenge when the time comes by sleeping with him and telling the other woman.
I feel bad every time I see how excited the bride to be is, I'm friends with her and the children are all going to be hurt when this happens, obviously IF it happens...
There isn't anything I can do though is there?

Queenbean Sun 28-Feb-16 17:08:27

It's none of your business, stay out of it and stop involving yourself as you are now

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:09:48

That's what I think. So horrible to watch.

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:11:39

I don't know if I've been unclear, I am definitely not involved. I am friends with the mum as our DC's are friends and my close friends is good friends with ex wife. I did say to my friend when she told me about texts I didn't want to know and wish she hadn't said.
Most definitely not involved other than knowing what is going on.

maxoverload Sun 28-Feb-16 17:13:25

dont say a word. you will get the shit for saying something. its got nothing to do with you. horrible to watch but it will be worse if you say anything

Goingtobeawesome Sun 28-Feb-16 17:14:55

Is it the original couple who are flirting or one part each of the two initial couples?

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:15:47

The original married couple.

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:17:13

I suppose it's his thing. So strange as this has literally seems to have come out of nowhere as normally they can't stand each other. So much bad feeling involved. The children have been dragged through it all as well.

FellOutOfBedTwice Sun 28-Feb-16 17:17:50

I read it as the affair husband is flirting with his ex wife, Going

Not to be needlessly mean, OP, but could this be wishful thinking on the ex wife's part?

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:18:55

That's what I would have thought but my friend saw the texts.

BonitaFangita Sun 28-Feb-16 17:21:28

This sounds like a very shouty Jeremy Kyle episode. I think the ex wife is playing a very dangerous game and you'd do best to stay out of it.

ThatsNotMyRabbit Sun 28-Feb-16 17:23:25

Well lots of people would call it karma if thus bloke ends up shagging his ex wife 🙂

Goingtobeawesome Sun 28-Feb-16 17:26:12

If it was my friend who was the bride to be I would tell her.

lljkk Sun 28-Feb-16 17:28:52

OP's friend (who shows texts around??) should tell her mate (the x-wife) that X-W is living in the past if she's still obsessed with wreaking revenge on people over a relationship breakdown 6 yrs ago... in other words, to grow up!!

Not much OP can do.

Or maybe they could all make good money going on J'Kyle.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sun 28-Feb-16 17:36:09


TheNaze73 Sun 28-Feb-16 17:46:03

I'd avoid the ex wife like the plague. Sounds a bit crazy

MardyGrave Sun 28-Feb-16 17:46:25

Indeed, karma is a bitch.

hownottofuckup Sun 28-Feb-16 17:49:14

In those circumstances I'd really leave them all to it

Goandplay Sun 28-Feb-16 17:50:56

She is crackers and a bit scary!

I know nothing should be said but then I think what would I want to happen if it was me planning a wedding or my sister or daughter.

I know the whole family so really can imagine the impact on all of them. Especially the children.

It's making me feel anxious. I need to forget I know.

littleleftie Sun 28-Feb-16 17:54:26

They all sound as bad as each other!

The bride to be had an affair with a married man. She should know that by marrying him she creates a vacancy.

Agree with PP to keep your head down and say nothing. It's not as if there are any innocent parties here is it, aside from all the children involved.

MardyGrave Sun 28-Feb-16 17:54:33

Honestly, infidelity doesn't seem to bother the bride to be. Or this bloke, quite the catch.

Leave it be and don't get involved, no one will thank you.

lunar1 Sun 28-Feb-16 17:54:59

In with those that say karma's a bitch! All the excited wedding planning has only come about because she helped cause massive damage to the ex wife. Who really cares if the same happens to her.

Goingtobeawesome Sun 28-Feb-16 19:51:37

I don't get it. You're all talking about innocent children. How is saying nothing better than them going through another divorce which is possible?

QuiteLikely5 Sun 28-Feb-16 20:42:55

This is tricky!

What do the texts say?

Is he outright asking to sleep with her or something similar?

longdiling Sun 28-Feb-16 20:52:15

Ooh interesting. A similar situation happened at my kids school. I would struggle to have sympathy with any of the involved parties and, to be honest, there is no saving the kids from future pain when you're dealing with these kinds of people. If you tell the bride to be and she decides not to go ahead with the wedding they'll be hurt anyway.

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