If any of this seems a bit OTT for a British family I should just explain my ILS are American and I am in the US. I have been married 20 years and have realised over that time that my DHs parents are very controlling although they were divorced just before we got married. We had a short engagement and I didn't know his family before we married.
There's plenty of stories about how they have treated me and how they idolize my DH. I wasn't too affected as we often lived hundreds of miles away and then lived in another nation for years.
We came back to the US recently and the true onslaught of their need to be over involved in our lives is really difficult for me. We still live a long way from them but they are always demanding (not asking) to come and stay with us.
Last weekend we had a brief visit to their area. While I was there we stayed in a hotel and then I left on Sunday as eldest dd couldn't miss any school.
DH and younger DCS stayed for an extra day at SILs. DD has just told me SIL told her she is going to "send" her DD to stay with us. Naturally noone has asked me and I doubt DH knows either. They were trying to "send" another young adult relative with lots of problems to us a month ago! We told them this individual is an adult and needs to take care of their own issues.
I feel so incensed - I feel they see us as the extended families safety valve and I am never consulted just told what they have planned. I no longer care what they think as I have hosted people for over a month at a time in the past and I am tired of this encroachment into our lives.
I am getting so furious - why do people do this?
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Bossy SIL
13 replies
FrancisdeSales · 25/02/2016 00:06
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