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Obsessed with guy from long ago.

(12 Posts)
NameAgeLocation Fri 19-Feb-16 21:20:04

Just that really.

Nearly 10 years ago I had a crush on a man who moved away before anything happened.

I have been obsessed with him since and think about him non-stop. blush

Clearly this is nothing to do with the man in question, it's a mere fantasy. How can I redirect my thoughts in a more healthy way? Please help!

RiceCrispieTreats Fri 19-Feb-16 21:27:10

Speak to a therapist. Find out what is behind this obsession, ie. the real issue for you to address. And then address it in therapy.

NameAgeLocation Fri 19-Feb-16 21:30:23

I tried to raise it a few years ago but she wasn't really interested.

Sunnyshores Fri 19-Feb-16 21:31:16

Does it involve him and what your life would have been? Or him in your existing life?

I wonder if its him you're hankering after or a whole different life?

I think we've all done something similar - not got over an ex or think we've made the wrong career choices, look back wistfully at uni life etc etc. But 10 years of constant thinking and rehashing it over and over cant be healthy and must be stopping you seeing the joy that you have in your life here and now.

He's the past, a time that was (like leg warmers, ra-ra skirts and Wham! --I know Im really old--). But how you convince yourself, Im sorry I dont know!

RiceCrispieTreats Fri 19-Feb-16 21:35:33

Your therapist works for you. Tell her that there is an issue that you need help understanding, and that that is what you want to discuss for the next few sessions.

NameAgeLocation Fri 19-Feb-16 21:36:02

I am also Wham! vintage grin

Yes a bit of what my life might have been like. But I have it all really and I cannot imagine a life without my children. My partner is a good man and while I often wonder if I made the right choice, I'd probably think that about anyone.

I think it's a bit of a lazy thought pattern/daydream, perhaps I need to put a rubber band around my wrist and snap it when I start fantasising!

liberatedwine Fri 19-Feb-16 21:41:02

Did someone mention Wham?

NameAgeLocation Fri 19-Feb-16 21:44:08

It could be worse, I could be having Andrew Ridgeley fantasies grin

liberatedwine Fri 19-Feb-16 21:48:43

My friend shagged Andrew Ridgeley in Cambridge. He wore yellow underpants.

fuddle Fri 19-Feb-16 21:52:45

Hypnotherapy may help you may have to unlearn your thoughts, not very technical I know but it is very effective treatment. You will get counselling first and then taught how to deeply relax and you practice at home.

Sunnyshores Sat 20-Feb-16 13:15:19

Thank you liberated! Now, what was I doing......

liberatedwine Sat 20-Feb-16 13:31:06

Sorry for de-ridgeleying the thread cringe.

OP what isn't right with your current life? Being a mum can sometimes be dull, a monotonous routine of nappies and feeding. Plan something exciting!
Mythical man from the past is probably overweight with hygiene issues now flowers

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