dh found some old diaries which are from a time when dh was having a affair, it was a long time ago. I got very upset, dh did not know how to deal with me at all, which was hurtfull in itself. Lots of talk of splitting up etc. When all I needed was reasurance and a cuddle.
I have never be allowed to deal with the affair as dh mininmised it all and the truth only came out last year, which wasnt helpfull. Mainly due to seeing a counselor and me pushing for the truth. I feel like I had my heart ripped out again and stamped on for good measure all over again.
Since the Diary incident dh has put a wall up, no proper kisses or any cuddles no sex, no normal stuff. I feel so hurt, its like Im being punished for somthing which I didnt do, if all this was not bad enough he has never gone out of his way to reassure me that we are ok, has done several things which knocked me back to the time of the discovery of the affair again, he has not helped to re-build trust at all, massive issues over phones which still password locked, his phone gets more attention off him than I ever have. If I question him I get the oh but you dont trust me routine. I have bought books to read to try and explain how I feel and he refused to read them because I had asked him to!
Ive never been allowed to move on, Im so sad that this is where we are right now. I just cant see any way forward.
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so tired of feeling like this, what did I do wrong?
18 replies
dasso · 18/01/2016 01:18
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