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Your experiences please?

(10 Posts)
SanctuaryMoon Fri 15-Jan-16 09:38:59

Has anyone any experience of separation where you are married to a Brit, one child together and you are not a citizen but have indefinite leave to remain?

I would like to know how you felt and coped really, as in having to remain in the UK but with no family or friends of your own, whilst being the parent with the child most of the time?

Gobbolino6 Fri 15-Jan-16 09:42:00

If you have ILR, are you certain you don't have to reapply under a different category? I'm not sure.

Have you not made friends while you've been here? If not, I'd start doing it now, it'll get easier.

SanctuaryMoon Fri 15-Jan-16 09:46:57

Hi, my IDL status is not linked to marriage, so I do not believe my marital status would impact on my ability to remain in the UK without reapplying but it's definitely something that I should investigate.

I've been here almost ten years and have made a handful of friends of my own, mostly through work and becoming a parent, but I don't get out much as it is. Loneliness is a big factor.

Offred Fri 15-Jan-16 13:16:24

I think you need to work on building a support network tbh and put your DC first. Moving to your home country would seriously disrupt his/her parenting relationships.

Eminado Fri 15-Jan-16 13:18:39

If your IDL is nothing to do with marriage then nothing will change.

I am sorry things havent worked out relationship-wise.

But THANK GOODNESS you have your own paperwork!!

Offred Fri 15-Jan-16 13:24:18

I live a five minute walk from my parents, my sister lives only about 30 miles away but their work commitments mean they don't see each other very often. My other sister lives 145 miles away, my mum sees her around twice per year as do I. She's moving abroad this year for work. We'll still see her the same amount.

I think maybe you are investing too much in the physical distance thing? Most people become a bit (or a lot) isolated when they have DC and feel more alone when their relationship breaks down for all kinds of reasons.

You just have to focus on getting out and being in contact with people really.

Offred Fri 15-Jan-16 13:24:48

I see my mum a couple of times a month.

SanctuaryMoon Fri 15-Jan-16 17:34:46

Thank you for your insight. I wasn't considering going back / taking my child to another country as maintaining a strong relationship with child's father is the top priority. I guess the issue is I don't really have my own friends, which I need to work on.

SanctuaryMoon Fri 15-Jan-16 17:35:26

Sorry doing this on my phone, I don't mean to sound so abrupt smile

ImperialBlether Fri 15-Jan-16 17:36:38

What part of the country are you in, OP, and what are your interests? We might be able to suggest something.

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