Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How do I cut contact???

(10 Posts)
NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 20:02:12

Hi all,
Long time lurker. Always try and give sound advice to posters but it's always harder to take when it's for yourself isn't it?
I need some tips.
I need to leave a relationship, for lots of reasons I won't go into here. But I definitely need to.
Thing is, I've left many times before but can never 'see it through'
It starts off good, I do all the blocking his number, emails, everything, but for some reason curiosity always gets the best of me and I have always unblocked and messaged him 'one more time'. Making up reasons to contact him 'just one last time', asking if I've left something at his, stupid stuff. And gradually he crawls back in.
Please - does anyone have any advice or anything that helped them in a similar situation?
Every minute is dragging on, I know it will get easier because I know it's the right decision (trust me), I just can't seem to ever be able to cut the final ties.
Please help sad

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 10-Jan-16 20:08:31

Curiosity gets the better of you? That's an odd reason to restart contact. Curiosity about what?

NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 20:10:26

Curiosity about what he had to say, if he was upset or cared I guess.
Sounds pathetic I know.
It's so hard.

12purpleapples Sun 10-Jan-16 20:14:13

It sounds like you are potentially being unfair to him, to keep him hanging on like this and not knowing when you will get back in touch so that it all starts up again. Would focussing on that kind of thought help you to stay away? (I hope that doesn't sound too negative to you, its coming across from your posts that he wasn't perfect!)

NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 20:18:02

Thanks for replying, yes that does help actually - thinking of it like I'm actually doing a good thing for both of us, not just me.
Trust me, I really do need to leave, just didn't want his behaviour to derail the thread IYSWIM.

NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 20:52:37

I don't understand why I can't just cut him off? Maybe taking each day at a time is best? Distracting myself? AGH sorry I just need some strength, this is not like me at all. angry

Hassled Sun 10-Jan-16 20:57:39

So it sounds like you always need closure, hence the curiosity. You need to work out why that is. And then you need constant, relentless distraction techniques - make yourself too busy to wonder what he's thinking.

NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 21:03:57

Yes, great idea hassled, I think I'm going to do that. I'm applying for a pretty intense job at the moment and will throw myself into the application.
I have lots of friends and amazing family. But it's so tough. Even though I know I've done the right thing and it has to happen sometime, it's very difficult to finally cut loose.

Aussiebean Sun 10-Jan-16 21:47:43

How about you delete his details instead of just blocking them?

NowSissyThatWalk Sun 10-Jan-16 22:02:54

I had that realisation myself, Aussie, silly I hadn't thought of it before really.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now