How do I cut contact???

[NowSissyThatWalk]

Hi all,
Long time lurker. Always try and give sound advice to posters but it's always harder to take when it's for yourself isn't it?
I need some tips.
I need to leave a relationship, for lots of reasons I won't go into here. But I definitely need to.
Thing is, I've left many times before but can never 'see it through'
It starts off good, I do all the blocking his number, emails, everything, but for some reason curiosity always gets the best of me and I have always unblocked and messaged him 'one more time'. Making up reasons to contact him 'just one last time', asking if I've left something at his, stupid stuff. And gradually he crawls back in.
Please - does anyone have any advice or anything that helped them in a similar situation?
Every minute is dragging on, I know it will get easier because I know it's the right decision (trust me), I just can't seem to ever be able to cut the final ties.
Please help

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

Curiosity gets the better of you? That's an odd reason to restart contact. Curiosity about what?

[NowSissyThatWalk]

Curiosity about what he had to say, if he was upset or cared I guess.
Sounds pathetic I know.
It's so hard.

[12purpleapples]

It sounds like you are potentially being unfair to him, to keep him hanging on like this and not knowing when you will get back in touch so that it all starts up again. Would focussing on that kind of thought help you to stay away? (I hope that doesn't sound too negative to you, its coming across from your posts that he wasn't perfect!)

[NowSissyThatWalk]

Thanks for replying, yes that does help actually - thinking of it like I'm actually doing a good thing for both of us, not just me.
Trust me, I really do need to leave, just didn't want his behaviour to derail the thread IYSWIM.

[NowSissyThatWalk]

I don't understand why I can't just cut him off? Maybe taking each day at a time is best? Distracting myself? AGH sorry I just need some strength, this is not like me at all.

[Hassled]

So it sounds like you always need closure, hence the curiosity. You need to work out why that is. And then you need constant, relentless distraction techniques - make yourself too busy to wonder what he's thinking.

[NowSissyThatWalk]

Yes, great idea hassled, I think I'm going to do that. I'm applying for a pretty intense job at the moment and will throw myself into the application.
I have lots of friends and amazing family. But it's so tough. Even though I know I've done the right thing and it has to happen sometime, it's very difficult to finally cut loose.

[Aussiebean]

How about you delete his details instead of just blocking them?

[NowSissyThatWalk]

I had that realisation myself, Aussie, silly I hadn't thought of it before really.