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Relationships

How do you support someone who chooses to go back? DV / rape related.

1 reply

oatmealsandwich · 03/01/2016 20:50

Recently a friend admitted to me how bad things had got with her P. I knew he was emotionally and financially abusive, but she told me he had raped her. More than once. They have a young DC.

I managed to persuade her to go to the police, and we both gave statements that day. She said at the station she was relieved to be talking to them, and was glad she didn't need to be scared of it happening again. After that I helped her pack things, and head to another friends house. Since then I've had no contact from her, she hasn't responded to y texts or calls. Tonight I spoke to the friend she went to stay with as I was getting really quite concerned. Friend has decided to go back as soon as she can, and doesn't want to talk to me.

I'm a DV survivor, so do understand the cycle of abuse, and how it works, but am at a loss as to how to support her. Am well aware that when she goes back, she will in all likelihood be prevented from talking to me and other friend by her abuser. Have sent her a text reminding her that I love her and am here for her, but is there anything else I can do?

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Borninthe60s · 03/01/2016 22:35

Just be there and text her when you can. Visit her at work or on the school run anywhere he might not be. Also tell police, social services as child may be at risk of seeing violence etc.

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