Regular, have name changed. I posted back in about June, about a man I had just started dating.
I have been seeing him since may, and to start with it was all quite intense, all very lovely though. He is open about his feelings, seems very honest, said quite outright what he wants and about his plans for the future. Things were really very lovely but I have had a couple of "wobbles" I think mainly because I find it hard to accept that this guy would "settle for me" Plus although he is lovely when we are together we often go days without speaking, and even two weeks without seeing each other. He is busy, he has been stressed, been ill, and had family to stay.
He isn't English, and in his culture relationships usually revolve around staying in, moving in together quite quickly as a trial to marriage. He asked me if I wanted a relationship, if i would agree to live with him one day. I said yes, I hoped so. This seemed a bit strange and very premature to me but I felt secure thinking at least I know his intentions.
I ended it just before Christmas, I became so upset and felt that I was not a priority that I finished it. We met and we talked but it wasn't really resolved, but he said he wanted to be with me. Over Christmas we talked via text and kept in touch and he told me by text that he loves me. He has never said this to my face, although I think he does.
Now, we have met up. We still didn't talk about the "issue" We had fun, we laughed and he still makes little jokes and comments about "our future" But I still have these huge fears.
For background and to give some idea perhaps of why I am like this and worry he will give up on me. I still have ex under my roof. He moved back end of dec because his accomodation wasn't suitable, he is moving back out again hopefully end of jan. But he is Dcs father and his name is on house. The man I am seeing asks questions and has been to my house once. he hasn't met my children, but my kids know about him. He has been patient, asks questions, is kind and seems understanding, but because he is so goal orientated, seems so clear on what he wants, is very capable and successful person, I think he will give up on me.
Because we go days without speaking, are seeing less of each other, I think he is protecting himself, or maybe bieng more cautious, or maybe its worse, maybe giving up on me
I;m hopeless at talking about stuff, I really feel I need to be able to open up and be honest about what I want because I fear not being able to will mean he will just give up on me. I have never really told him how I feel about him or what I want, and I do love him but I seem incapable of making myself available. I seem to create obstacles constantly.
What can I do, or is it better to just accept that he is going to give up on me? or already has.
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What the hell do I do with this?
7 replies
OverEmotinalmoo · 02/01/2016 19:49
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