I blame myself for being selfish.
I had 12 years of happy marriage before dc came along, so much time to myself and was perfectly happy and chilled.
I now have 2 very wanted children 1 and almost 3 but I just don't feel I'm a great mother.
I actually like working as I really don't enjoy day after day by myself with my two children. I find its lonely and boring and relentless and extremely hard work.
My son, in particular is very hard work, always crying or moaning about something. One day he will like something, to eat for example, and the next day he will throw a complete wobbly over it. All a natural part of growing up but I'm just so bad a managing him.
Today was awful, another day of the very long holidays with just me and the 2 dc and we are toilet training eldest. I asked him if he needed a pee and he said no and the next minute he said "all wet" as he had just peed all over the sofa. Rather than go to the toilet which is 10 paces away he wet himself. I know all the advice about keeping it easy going when toilet training but just can't apply it. I scolded him. That's not good parenting, I know.
I feel everything is a chore.
We've moved house and I had no support or friends. My mum has a better social life than I do. Dh works v long shifts and I'm by myself a lot.
I'm just not able to sit and play with the children constantly as I've things to do and I just feel like screaming that I want some time to myself.
If I leave the room for a minute, say to empty the bin or take rubbish out. My 1 year old cries and my son will scream "mummeeeeee" in the most aggravating way. I just can't get a minute.
Surely it's not normal to feel like this?
I just wish I had some help or support. I'm not very good at making friends, I don't know where to start. I think it's the product of being brought up in a very extreme religion where we weren't encouraged to "mix".
I'm rambling.
Thanks to anyone who read this.
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Just make mistake after mistake, feel like a rubbish mother - feeling down
6 replies
GlitteringJasper · 01/01/2016 21:00
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